More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Mark Manson
Read between
November 10 - November 18, 2024
We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change.
To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it’s an activity, not something that is passively bestowed upon you, not something that you magically discover in a top-ten article on the Huffington Post or from any specific guru or teacher. It doesn’t magically appear when you finally make enough money to add on that extra room to the house. You don’t find it waiting for you in a place, an idea, a job—or even a book, for that matter. Happiness is a constant work-in-progress, because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress—the solutions to today’s
...more
Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of beneficial change.
negative emotions are a call to action.
Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.
Decision-making based on emotional intuition, without the aid of reason to keep it in line, pretty much always sucks. You know who bases their entire lives on their emotions? Three-year-old kids. And dogs. You know what else three-year-olds and dogs do? Shit on the carpet.
Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.
If you want to change how you see your problems, you have to change what you value and/or how you measure failure/success.
The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.
Fault is past tense. Responsibility is present tense.
Fault results from choices that have already been made. Responsibility results from the choices you’re currently making, every second of every day.
There’s a difference between blaming someone else for your situation and that
person’s actually being responsible for your situation. Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness but you. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences.
other’s support. The difference between a healthy and an unhealthy relationship comes down to two things: 1) how well each person in the relationship accepts responsibility, and 2) the willingness of each person to both reject and be rejected by their partner.
People in a toxic relationship with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and/or take responsibility for their partner’s problems.
It’s not about giving a fuck about everything your partner gives a fuck about; it’s about giving a fuck about your partner regardless of the fucks he or she gives. That’s unconditional love, baby.
