Captured

by Lauren Biel

Like everything else in my life, my tastes were fucked up.

“Stop apologizing for shit you can’t control, Ophelia.”

A scream crawled up the basement staircase. I knew that sound, and like Pavlov’s fucking dogs, I began to salivate. It was the sound of pained desperation, and it went straight to my dick. My body responded on autopilot, working up an excited sweat before I even knew what was happening. The scars on my back tingled—a reminder of all the whippings that trained me to enjoy that sound.

It had taken the whore a long time to stop fighting, but Ophelia seemed broken before my dick ever touched her.

“I don’t want to save you. The moment I fucked you, you became mine. I own you. Your body is mine to use whenever and however I want. Why the hell would I want to let you go? I’m nowhere near done with you.”

The wrong parent died that day. I’d remedied that injustice later, but I wished I’d had the strength to do it sooner. It would have saved my mother and so many other women.

Sam scoffed. “I’m so jealous that you have that one. He may be rapey as fuck, but at least he seems like he has half a heart in his chest.” A pained laugh crossed between us as she washed herself up. “I saw that kiss,” she said. “He only did it to keep Gunnir’s dick out of my mouth,” I said as I joined her at the spigot. Sam shrugged. “Shit, that’s sweet.”

“You’re both rapists.” A normal person would have been appalled by such an accusation, but Alex didn’t even react. He knew what he was. Still, the guilt was evident from the downturn of his lips and the way he couldn’t meet my eyes. He wasn’t as soulless as he wanted me to believe. He finished boxing up the checkers before he looked at me. “I’m a bad person, O. But I’m not the worst.”

I was almost certain The Man was his father and if he was, he would have been the one to whip the sympathy out of Alex. Gunnir would have been the prodigal son. Sick and fucking twisted. Alex was sick too, but it reminded me more of someone who had been conditioned to the point of sickness.

“I don’t do what I do because I’m a saint. I do it because I’m a demon disguised as one.”

We were heading for the deep end without a life preserver. No one was there to save us, and we were too caught up in each other to save ourselves.

“I know we’re in hell, but it doesn’t have to be all fire and brimstone. It doesn’t always have to burn.” “Maybe it’s not burning you, Alex, but I’m on fire.” He rested his chin on my chest. “I can’t give you heaven, but I can make hell feel good sometimes.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Patience is a virtue, but I’m not a virtuous man.”

He was a demon fighting the hold of the devil, steering his flames in other directions. He couldn’t save me.

“You’re shaking up everything I’ve ever known. Tearing apart decades of conditioning. It’s fucking terrifying. Feeling things is worse than feeling nothing at all.”

“The scars here are from the rice.” I gripped her chain and gave it a rattle. “This was my chain before it was yours.”

“None of this excuses what I became,” I said. “I’m sure I had a choice somewhere along the line, even if I can’t remember one.”

How I’d said he was choking, and the idiot believed it. How Gunnir had hollered for me to perform the “Hemlock Maneuver” and how I’d fought to hold back a fit of laughter because the irony of his word choice nearly sent me over the edge.

“The Man would be rolling in his grave if he heard you talk like that.” “That may be true, but our mother would be proud, and the devil’s disappointment doesn’t mean nearly as much as an angel’s pride.”

Now I had to do something that would be more difficult than ending my brother’s life. I had to set Ophelia free and ensure no one would ever hurt her again. I had to destroy the last monster. Me.

I was at a crossroads, and both paths looked bleak. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood . . . My mind grasped at the long-forgotten Robert Frost poem I’d dissected for a project in high school. When faced with two paths, the man chose the road less traveled. He’d taken a chance and come out better because of it. Maybe the old poet was onto something.

“I’m too damaged to be with her. I don’t even know what drew me to her like this.” “She reminded you of me.” “That’s not creepy or anything,”

I had nearly died more times than I cared to admit. At that point, I was worried I was actually immortal. Incapable of death. Destined to live with pain and torment for all eternity. And I still hadn’t been able to prove otherwise.

Engulfing, devouring, and cleansing the land of all the evil that was born and raised inside. Well, maybe not all of it. The man beside me had been spared. Because of me.

“What’s the matter?” Alex whispered, wiping the sweat that had gathered at my temples. “I’ve done some pretty shitty things to you, and you didn’t react that violently. I didn’t understand just how bad it was, but I think I’m beginning to.” He set his jaw and looked toward the living room. I recognized that fiery look in his eyes. Someone was about to pay for their mistakes, and this time it wouldn’t be me.

“I want your affection. I feel bad when you hurt. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. I’ve felt some levels of bad when horrible things happened to girls because of me or Gunnir, but with you, it makes my heart actually feel heavy. Like, real low in my chest.” I held my hand level with my chest and pushed it down. “I’m only human for you, O.”

“I figured it would be too much for you. I’ll do what I can for some of the shit that’s broken around here, then I’ll leave you to it. You don’t owe me anything, but if you can at least give me a head start before you call the cops, I’d appreciate it.”

“If you want to leave because you can’t see a life with me, I won’t hold you back, but if you plan to leave because you can see a life with me, you’re nothing but a coward. You’re so focused on the pain you caused me, but you forget about all you’ve done for me. You fought so hard to keep me safe from Gunnir. To keep me alive. You killed your own brother to stop his assault. You killed my father to make sure he couldn’t hurt me anymore. If you leave, you’ll kill me too.”

I even tried to kill the last monster, but the little lamb had dragged the big bad wolf from the burning building.

A beautiful girl like her could have gotten anyone she wanted, but she was choosing the demon that lurked in her nightmares. The demon who became her nightmare.

My decision to stay. It was the first time I’d had a choice, and I knew it was the same for her. Somehow, she’d found freedom within captivity, but I found mine within her.

Alexzander emerged from the depths of hell and shielded me from the devil as he raised us until we felt the first cool breeze hit our faces. He tried to leave me at the gates, but I wouldn’t let him. He earned his way back up here, on earth, by my side. People will wonder how I could lie with a demon, but demons are only fallen angels, and Alex fell pretty fucking hard. He was just willing to stand up again and live up to his name.