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No more dicks. No more drama kings.
Oh, baby girl, the chase is so fucking on.
“Hoooly shit! That was the single hottest thing I’ve ever seen. That was like an Animal Planet shark attack, but with heels and hair flipping—”
“Good boy.”
“Three platonic fuck buddies and a hyperactive dog. What could possibly go wrong?”
Jake’s petulance only fuels my giddiness. “You think this is funny, Seattle? You think you’re gonna cast me aside for Caleb and his weird Klingon cock?”
“Good fucking girl,” he murmurs.
“Mars, I have zero interest in fucking you or getting fucked by you. Are you kidding? The idea of your monster cock coming anywhere near me is literally terrifying. Honestly, I don’t know how Rachel does it. I don’t have the courage to bottom for you, and I totally lack the death wish to try and top you.” He gestures between us with a frantic hand wave. “So, are we good? We done here? You need this super weird conversation to go on any longer?”
“Place yourself in our care, and we will never stop fighting for you,” Ilmari says. “We will never stray, never waver. We will seek no exit. Love us and watch how we love you in return. One family. One unit. Unbreakable.”