The last words I’d said to her flitted through my head, the horrible things I’d told her, how badly I’d treated her. As if she was nothing but a sex toy for me, nothing important when she was the only girl who’d ever been a friend, the only girl I’d ever wanted for more than sex. Yet, I hadn’t shown her. I had clung to my freedom, because the rush of those meaningless flings and party nights had brightened the darkness that so often filled my insides. It hadn’t worked, not for long. Like a flash that broke through the night for only an instant, the thrill of my flings hadn’t banished that
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