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His dark blond hair was buzzed on the sides and slightly longer on top, and his ice-blue eyes … Cold. Calculating. Cautious.
Twenty dollars and a knife. My body ached. I never wanted to get up again. There was no sense in doing anything. I was nothing. I wished Alfonso had done as my father had ordered and just killed me.
Aria would help. My stomach clenched. Her helping Lily and Gianna was the reason why Father hated me in the first place. Running to New York with my tail between my legs and begging Luca to make me part of the Famiglia, wasn’t going to happen. Everyone would know I had been taken in out of pity, not because I was a worthy asset.
“Because I like to fight … and kill. Because I hate the fucking Bratva. Because my family wants me dead, too. But most importantly, because I need loyal soldiers who will help me take back what’s mine.” “Who are you?” “Remo Falcone. And I will be Capo of the Camorra soon.”
Remo would have never listened to a woman, would have never shown that kind of weakness in front of anyone. Neither would I.
“Because I want you to remember.” “The family that abandoned me?” “No, the boy you used to be and the man you can still become.” “Who says I want to remember?”
Five years. So much had changed since Father had wanted me dead. The past was the past, but sometimes the memories came back. Memories were a good reminder why I owed Remo my loyalty and my life. Without him, I’d be dead.
She laughed, then quieted as her blue eyes traced my face. “I should go.” She got out and closed the door, quickly running for cover. I watched her fumble with the keys for a while before she disappeared from view. Strange girl.
Who was this girl? And why wasn’t she scared?
It wasn’t like it was my business what her father did to her. It shouldn’t be. But the mere idea that he was hurting her made me want to pay him a visit and give him a taste of what I was capable of.
She didn’t ask more questions, which was a fucking good thing, because I really didn’t want to analyze my fascination with her. She reminded me of my sisters—not in a kinky way. More like she reminded me of a longing I’d buried deep in my chest. Fuck me.
“Sometimes we have to let go of our family if we want to amount to anything in life.” Surprise and curiosity registered on her face. I gritted my teeth, annoyed at myself for my words.
She released a small, shaky breath and quickly got into my Mercedes, as if she needed to put some space between us. There was no way I’d let her get away from me.
Now there was someone taking care of me, and I liked it, liked handing over some of the burden of always having to fend for myself, having to make every decision. I think I liked it too much.
My hands stilled on her back. This unguarded admission did something strange to me. It unleashed a protective, fierce side I hadn’t experienced toward a woman since I’d been a scrawny kid and tried to defend my sisters. The soft breeze tugged at her brown curls as she lost herself in the sight of the city.
She closed her eyes as I kissed the skin below her ear. For once it was hard to read her. “And you think you can be my protector?” I could protect her against almost any threat. Not against the Camorra. And not against myself. But that wasn’t something I wanted to consider. “You saw me fight. Do you doubt it?”
I wished Fabiano was here, and that realization scared me shitless.
I peered down at the soft freckles of her nose and cheek. Her eyes met mine, uneasy and nervous, but not scared. She trusted me to respect her boundaries. Leona might be my undoing.
His eyes slid behind me to Leona. Something protective and fierce swelled in my chest. He didn’t say anymore. I doubted he was really interested in her. He was just curious because I showed interest in her.
Remo and his brothers were like family to me, but I knew better than to trust them with Leona.
How could he compare us? He was strong and successful, admittedly not in the conventional sense, but he had what he longed for. The Camorra was his passion.
Deep down, I knew Fabiano’s attention would come with a price. I’d pay for surrendering to him in one way or another. But right in this moment I couldn’t care less.
Fabiano came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my shoulder, his lips moving up to my ear. A familiar tingling filled my body as I leaned into him. I didn’t want to push him away, didn’t want to consider how it looked being alone in an apartment with him at night. I just wanted to be, wanted to relish in the most beautiful sight I’d ever seen.
Being with Fabiano made me feel seen and protected. That was more than I’d had in a long time. And God did it scare me, because I knew how easily it could be taken from me.
“Some things are worth waiting for.” “And you are one of them?” I asked. She looked away, out toward the city lights. Her lashes fluttered again, but this time it was to keep the tears contained. “I don’t know.”
Her breathing had evened out. Had she fallen asleep? She shouldn’t have, not in the arms of a man like me. Her trust was foolish and completely unfounded.
I curled my arm over her hip and allowed myself to close my eyes. As I listened to her rhythmic breathing, I began to drift off.
“See,” I said eventually. “I do feel safe with you.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. My nipples rubbed against his dress shirt and a sweet tingle formed in my belly. “You shouldn’t.” His voice was rough and deep.
If Nino wasn’t Remo’s brother, he would have studied math or some shit like that. He was a genius, which made him twice as lethal.
“She’s not like that. Do not touch her,” Leona’s mother said fiercely. I regarded her anew. Little was left of her. She had no pride, no honor, nothing, but despite her need for the drugs in Remo’s hands, the part of her that cared for her daughter—no matter how little was left of it—won out.
“I found her. She’s in my car.” Leona’s eyes widened, and she hugged me. Fucking hugged me in the middle of Roger’s Arena, under the eyes of dozens of customers. I gripped her arms and pushed her away.
He looked invincible. Fabiano was grace and fierceness and power as he strode toward the center of the room through the cheers of the crowd. His eyes were the scariest thing I’d ever seen. He was furious.
She raised those cornflower blue eyes to me. Against her deathly pale skin, her freckles stood out even more. “Today is a good day to start, I think.” She swallowed, lowering her gaze as if she couldn’t bear looking at me. She was still in shock.
Those words still haunted me, after everything. Tears prickled my eyes. Fabiano was a murderer. He’d done it for me, so he didn’t have to hurt me. He protected me. And part of me was consoled by that fact. What did that say about me?
Fabiano needed to push me way. And I knew I needed to let him so I could do what had to be done. “Don’t pretend you acted out of the goodness of your heart. You saved me because you wanted to be the first one to fuck me.”
He cupped my face. “Don’t you think I would if I could?” His lips brushed mine. “But I can’t. I won’t. You are mine, and I will protect, you no matter the price.”
Fuck. The look in her eyes. “I thought you hated me. That’s what you said.” “I was trying to. But …” She trailed off. “You saved me again. You are the only one who cares enough to risk anything at all for me. It’s pathetic, but there’s only you.”
“I betrayed for you, I killed for you,” I said roughly, pulling out of her slowly until only my tip remained inside her. “I’ll bleed and I’ll die for you.” I thrust back into her, trying to hold back.
Fabiano leaned against the side of a booth, where two of the Falcone brothers sat. He hadn’t looked my way since he’d first come in with Remo. It was probably better that way. Deep down, I wished he’d give me a small signal of reassurance … even if it was only for show.
“Sometimes you actually remind me of Aria with your stubborn insistence of taking care of your mother, even if she doesn’t deserve it.”
“Where’s Fabiano?” I asked again, hating how shaky my voice came out. He tilted his head to the side. “He’ll be here soon, don’t worry.” His words weren’t meant to be consoling. The menace in them prevented that.
Leona stood in the center. Her eyes darted to me and relief flashed in them. Her hope was misguided. This time I couldn’t save her. We’d both die. I’d die trying to defend her, but it wouldn’t help. Not against Remo, Nino, and Savio
Remo walked toward me. I fought the urge to pull a weapon. He stopped right in front of me. Our eyes locked. Years of loyalty, of brotherhood, passed in that one moment, and deep regret settled in my bones.
Remo approached and only stopped when his chest almost touched mine. “I loved you like a brother. Tonight, is where it all ends.” He held out his hand.
I wasn’t sure if Remo could love. Before Leona, I was sure I wasn’t capable of it, either. I gripped his forearm, my palm covering the tattoo on his forearm, and he mirrored the gesture. Then we let go and took a few steps back.
Remo tightened his hold until stars danced in front of my eyes. “Do you still think she’s worth it?” he muttered into my ear. I sought Leona’s fear-stricken face in the crowd. “Yes,” I gritted out. Never had anything been more worth dying for.
“Perhaps now you realize what you’ve done,” Nino said from close behind me. I jumped and took a step away from him. I didn’t take my eyes off the fight. What had I done? I’d allowed myself to get close to a man who should have been out of reach. I had proven that I was more like my mother than I’d wanted to admit. But I didn’t regret it. And I wouldn’t allow Nino Falcone to scare me. I was past that point.
She ran a hand through my sweaty, blood-streaked hair. “Can we be together now? I mean for real?”
“You almost died today. For me,” she whispered. “Nobody has ever done something like that for me. People can keep telling me to stay away from you if they want, but it won’t make me love you any less.”
She laughed, wedging herself between my legs again, bringing us closer and sending a stab of pain through my body from the movement, but I couldn’t care less. If I didn’t think it might shove one of my broken ribs into my lungs, I’d have fucked her right then. No, made love to her. God help me.
