What You Are Looking for is in the Library

by Michiko Aoyama

I liked this idea. Pleased at her response and emboldened at being spoken to so warmly, I leaned forward. “Ms. Komachi, I heard you used to be a special-needs teacher. Does that mean you changed career?” “Uh-huh. I started out as librarian in a big library. Then I went back to study and became a special-needs teacher. Then I became a librarian again.” “Why did you change career once and then go back?” I heard a crack from her neck as she swiveled her head. “It’s just how things worked out. I went with the flow and did what was easiest at the time to achieve what I wanted. Moment by moment—circumstances always change, quite independently from what we want to do. A family situation, for example, or health issues, or a job might go when a company folds, or one could fall in love out of the blue.” “Fall in love?” I repeated, without thinking. She touched the floral hairpin in her bun. “This was the most unexpected thing that ever happened to me. Never did I imagine someone like the person who gave me this appearing in my life.” Did she mean her husband? My curiosity was piqued and I would have liked to probe further, but it was not a topic one could ask too much about. “Are you glad you changed careers? Didn’t you feel anxious about it?” “Things change, even if you want them to stay the same. At the same time, you can try to change, but you will still remain the same.”