What You Are Looking for is in the Library

by Michiko Aoyama

“I guess I couldn’t be like everybody else.”

“I was afraid of loud voices. But kids that age are always loud, aren’t they? Laughing and shouting randomly. If the teacher told the other kids off, I felt like I was to blame too, and I was always on edge. Kids pick up on that kind of thing. They can sense when someone’s different, or delicate. It wasn’t that I was actually bullied so much as sort of ignored. I began to feel like I had no right to be in the classroom.”

I’m still searching. Searching for somewhere I can be accepted as I am. Just one place is all I need. Somewhere to be at peace.

But I can’t spend the rest of my life in here reading books.

Creatures that can’t adapt to the environment cease to exist. That’s what natural selection is. In that case, I wish I could just be wiped off the face of the earth. No more life of pain, knowing I can’t adapt,

Perhaps my problem all along was not being in the right environment. One where I could make the most of myself.

I was not allowed to take notes while listening to Mr. Yakita’s verbal instructions, and nothing seemed to stick in my head.

I believe that every kind of contact between people makes them part of society. And that goes beyond the present moment. Things happen as a result of our points of connection, in the past and in the future.”

Only Shinpei Kusano knows what he actually saw. Yet each reader can have their own interpretation, which is a good thing.

Books belong to everybody: the creators, the sellers and the readers. That’s what society is all about I believe.”

“You told me that if you only ever look in front, your view will be quite narrow. So whenever I feel stuck or don’t know what to do, I try to broaden my view. Relax my shoulders and walk sideways like a crab.”

My plan is to appreciate every new day. And take a wide view of things.