What You Are Looking for is in the Library

by Michiko Aoyama

Jobs can be a clue to somebody’s character. A short-cut way of describing them. But only in a limited, stereotyped sort of way.

and for the first time in a long while, I feel slightly excited about something.

Library. What a nice-sounding word. So comforting. I feel like I’m a student again. Library...

“You managed to find employment, you go to work every day and you can feed yourself. That’s a fine achievement.”

How could I have forgotten the story when I’d read it so many times before? Or misremembered, more like. It’s fun, though, to reread a book I loved as a kid. You pick up new things.

what am I working for?” He tosses the last of the rice ball into his mouth. “I was working in order to eat, but I never had time to eat because of work—that seemed crazy.”

“Now I actually have a life. A decent life. I eat properly, sleep, and enjoy reading books and magazines because I don’t have to think about them from a work point of view. I’m fit, healthy, and every day is a new beginning.”

“In a world where you don’t know what will happen next, I just do what I can right now.”

Once I start, my body seems to move by itself. In my mind it always seems like a huge task to do cleaning, but when I actually get down to it, the small one-room apartment scrubs up well in no time.

What I do know is that there’s no need to panic, or do more than I can cope with right now. For the time being, I plan to simply get my life in order and learn some new skills, choosing from what’s available.

But time is slipping away while I’m stuck in this office grind.

But the more I say ‘one day’ the more I feel like it might only ever be a dream.” “Only ever a dream...” She tilts her head to one side inquiringly. “Is that what you think? That it will only ever be a dream? As long as you continue to say the words ‘one day,’ the dream is not over. Maybe it will simply remain a beautiful dream. It may never come true. But that is one way to live, in my opinion. The days go by more happily when you have something to dream about. It’s not always a bad thing to have a dream, with no plan for ever carrying it out.”