I had no words to name forms of sexual assault that didn’t fit inadequate definitions of the term “rape” or even “assault”—such as the times when I gave up or gave in, because it was easier than fighting, or when I hated what I was doing, but had no tools to reverse course. Instead, I carried with me a feeling that had I been more forceful—the way I intuited I should have been—the story might only have turned out worse.
