A Hero in Hiding (Vexing Villains, #2)

by Alice Winters

“So… these books go on your unread bookshelf, right? The bookshelf overflowing with books?” he asks. “I feel like you’re being sassy but yes. These ones are shinier, obviously, so I needed more.”

“Hold on. You had to have all of these new books to read, yet… you’re going to read one you already read?” “August… I feel like you don’t understand.” His eyebrow arches as he watches me. “You’re probably right. I’m not quite sure I do.” “You will learn. You are merely in a cocoon at this point, August. Soon you will bust out as a motherfucking beautiful butterfly who will fuck up anyone who disrupts our reading time.”

Brandon, my other brother who was left with exactly zero brain cells, is waving a sign that says, “My brother will eat ur hole.” “I will do what, now?” I ask, a bit in shock over this declaration.

“I’m so sorry!” he whispers, clearly knowing that death is on the horizon. “You have… offended… my cat,” I growl. “Ohhh fuck,” someone in the audience says.

She doesn’t understand that you don’t have to turn the other way when people are mean to you. You can enslave them and force them to make you food.

With a sigh, I get out and walk over to the chair where Brandon’s underwear sits on display. He didn’t even try to hide them, just left them out for everyone to see. The three of us gather around and stare down at them. “Okay, I get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that are on them,” August says. Lex nods. “But your brother doesn’t look like a thong kind of guy.”

“You don’t want to touch them either!” I realize. “Landon, did you find them?” Brandon asks. “I found them,” I say regretfully. “I got it,” August says as he picks up the entire chair and carries it over to Brandon so he can pick up his own underwear.

“I mean… it’s not the best mask, but it’ll have to work for now.” He struts out of the pool with his junk fully on display.

“Mom… please tell me I’m adopted?” I ask. “Landon… your brother’s a fucking idiot,” she says. “But he’s our idiot.” “Does he have to be?” She seems to think about it for a really long time before giving me a nod. “Sadly.”

“Okay!” He writes “Valerie” across the doll and then stabs it with a pin. “It’s fun. Here, you try.” I take it from him. “Did I just join a cult?” August takes it from me, probably hoping to keep me from selling my soul to the devil.

He pulls a notebook out and slaps it in front of me and even stuffs a pen into my hand. I stare at the pen with cutesy flower designs on it and uncap it, positive that I will be unable to use this pen for anything beyond drawing penises.

Deus shakes his head. “Sometimes… I have this weird thought like I bet it’d be nice if he smacked my ass with that clipboard of his and then he talks, and it makes me feel weird inside. Anyone else feel like that?”

“I’ll handle security,” Deus says. “They have to be alive by the end,” Ellison adds. “I will not handle security,” Deus says.