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Roman Valdez is like a drug and I’m desperate to get my fix, all the while praying I don’t develop an addiction after just one hit.
His lips find my ear and he says, “My pussy. Got that? For as long as I want it.”
He worships my body and I drown in him. His taste. His touch. Breathing in the scent of sun, coriander, and musk that is uniquely him, it's as if I’ll die without him in my lungs.
Emilio interrupts, stepping outside, still rocking that stupid bright ass bikini over his sweat pants. “I like Allie. Can we keep her?” Dom and I both jerk our heads toward him. “What?” I ask, surprise coloring my voice.
“I said, can we keep her?” "She’s not a puppy,” Dom chides, but his brows furrow like he’s wondering the same thing.
“Pass. You must either be blind or stupid then, because if you were paying attention, you’d know Allie’s with us. She’s Devil property and we don’t take kindly to people fucking with what’s ours.”
She has no right to act like this hurts her. It only hurts me.
She’s not eating. I don’t know why I care but the girl never eats. Not at school anyway. Her cheekbones are sharper. Her clothes fit looser. Something is up and I have no fucking clue what. I know my boys notice. They give her the same concerned glances I do when they think I’m not looking.
I’ve never been so fucking scared in my life. My girl was in danger. My girl.
“Because when you’re adrift, when you can’t find your way to shore, I want to be the one who steadies you.”
“Because you’re worth it. You’re worth all of it. All the fighting, the pain, the feelings. You make me fucking feel, Allie.” He slaps a hand on his chest right over his heart. “Right here. You made my ice-cold heart beat, and it only wants to beat for one person. You. Only you. I don’t just want you. I fucking need you.” He steps forward and presses his forehead against mine, cupping my face in his strong inked hands and I close my eyes, breathing him in. Fighting through the fear of being close to a boy I’m not sure I can trust. “Alejandra Ramirez, I need you in my life.”
“I’m broken,”
“Let me pick up all your broken pieces and put you back together. Let me be your anchor when you’re lost and the world keeps spinning around you.”
focus on today and live my life without fear.
Overcoming trauma isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time and I know I can’t rush it. I have coping mechanisms that keep me in a good mental head space, like going for a walk outside or taking a shower when I start to feel blue.
Mental health isn’t something you can see or fix. It’s ongoing. There’s a spectrum. There will always be good days and bad days.
