Neither of us could recognize our underlying anxiety. I was in fight mode, and she was in flight mode—and we were missing each other. I misinterpreted her “flight” behavior as a lack of care. She understood my “fight” behavior as unwarranted hostility, not as a cry for shared presence. We hurt each other out of unrecognized anxiety. Recognition is so very important. Unrecognized anxiety hijacks our minds, our bodies, and even our most important relationships.
