Not My Kind of Hero

by Pippa Grant

We are very permanently and irrevocably off relationships with men, I remind my nipples, my vagina, and my brain. Be that as it may, the view is currently incredible. Please pass the popcorn, they reply in unison.

Being a safe place for teenagers to be who they are and feel what they’re feeling gives me a purpose in life, and I wouldn’t want any other job.

I want her to know she’s strong enough to do hard things. But you have to do the hard things before you know you’re strong enough.

Yay! my vagina cheers. He likes us feisty! She is so in time-out. I hate being cranky like this. But he just brings it out—no.

And she’s watching me with wide blue eyes that tell me she did not sign up for my level of fucked up.

The minute I pull the truck onto the highway, she’s on her phone. First call—the local law enforcement for the beach town June’s supposed to be in. Yes, please, I’d like you to go talk to my ex-husband about why he hasn’t called you yet to report her missing. He’s Dean Spencer. Home Improvement Network star? Yes, feel free to alert the news that his daughter is missing because he’s a twatwaffle. Mama bear is on a mission.