SIN-BIN (Sinners on the Ice #1)

by Anastasija White

things that draw me to him. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

I have no idea what he wants from me, because what I’ve heard about him contradicts how he is with me.

“I can’t believe I thought I liked you.”

My heart stops for just a moment, and then it speeds up and thunders in my ears. She thought she liked me? Liked? As in past tense? No. That’s bullshit. I refuse to accept it.

What’s so special about this guy? He’s the only one who affects me like this. The only one who gets under my skin with such ease it scares me to death. The only one whose kisses keep me awake at night. Just kisses, nothing more. It’s so fucked up. I can’t even think straight when he’s around.

“No.” It’s firm. With a pinch of finality. Steely. Colton doesn’t expect objections. He’s sure I’ll stay. “I don’t really take orders.” “It’s not an order.” He takes a step forward, still holding my hand in his. “Please, Ava, stay.”

I feel secure when he’s around, protected, and that’s something I feel even being in his room. Alone. I drift off to sleep way sooner than I thought.

I feel her gaze on me, and my lips involuntarily stretch into a smile. My skin warms up, and my heartbeat accelerates. The effect she has on me is just…wow. I never thought it could be possible for someone to affect me like she does.

“But you’re getting dangerously close to the ugly truth, the one I hide from everyone.” “There’s nothing ugly about you, Colt.” “You don’t know⁠—” Ava interrupts me, grinning. “True, but I intend to fix that.” I laugh, shaking my head. “Looking forward to it.” I lick my lips. “What did you want to ask?” “Do you like me?” Do I tell her the truth or laugh it off? If I want her in my life, there is only one option. “Yeah, I do. I like you. I thought I’d made it embarrassingly obvious.”

I refuse to accept her not being in my life.

“Being enemies with benefits means being exclusive. I’m only yours, and you’re only mine,” I muse huskily and feel her shudder. “Are you okay with that?”

“Are you okay with that, Ava? Ready to be mine?” “Yes,” she purrs, and I kneel, hauling her ass to the edge of my bed. “Then get comfortable. I’m going to eat my dessert.”

I feel carefree and happy when she’s around, and I talk. I really talk. I tell her things I usually keep to myself.

“Now I know something new about the girl I like.” “You make it sound as if she’s…” Benson’s jaw drops, and he eyes me like I’ve turned into Shrek. “Is she the first girl you’ve ever liked?” I fix my hood in annoyance, furrowing my brow and looking away. “Yes.”

“Dude. Are you for real? That’s amazing.” “It’s embarrassing.” “No, you dumbass. It means she’s special. Maybe even the one.”

“I’m sorry, son. Being in the dark is always hard. Sometimes our imaginations draw pictures that are much worse than reality,”

What the fuck is this? How is it even possible that the first girl I’ve ever liked is the daughter of the man who saved my mom’s life?

Ava lets go of my hand, and I sit, watching her. Every time I look at her, I fall harder. Sometimes it scares me, but sometimes, like today, I feel blessed. With how fucked up I was, I didn’t think I’d ever feel anything close to how I feel now. It’s a miracle she likes me back.

“I don’t plan to let her go,” I confess, and Dax’s eyes widen. “I-I didn’t mean—I won’t be trying to…I just want her to be with me.”

her. A second later, she gives it back to me. “Honey?” “Honey,” I confirm, draping a hand around her waist and pulling her to my chest. “Because you’re the sweetest girl I’ve ever had.”

She’s so fucking addictive. I won’t be able to even look at other girls, let alone touch anyone else. She gets under my skin like no one ever has, and I love it. Ava makes me feel alive. She’s my favorite type of sweet. She’s my honey.

“Will you go with me to visit my mom?” “Visit?” She halts in her tracks, and I stop too. “It’s complicated.” Ava reaches my hand, entwining our fingers. “I’ll go with you.”

“Do you remember when you said to bring a girl with me if she was constantly on my mind? If she caused such strong emotions within me it’d be hard to ignore?” Mom smiles apologetically and slightly shakes her head. “Sorry, baby. I don’t, but I can imagine myself saying that to you.” She pats my knee with her hand. “Is she here?” “Yeah, and I want you to meet her. Can I invite her in?” “Of course.” Mom

“Me too, Colt. Thank you so much for coming to see me, and thank you for bringing Ava with you. Watching you two together…it gives me hope that you won’t make the same mistakes as me and your dad, that you’ll never hurt the person you love.” I lean away and peer at her, my eyebrows furrowed. “The way you look at her says it all, baby. You love this girl.”

“I like her,” I clarify, and my mom just shakes her head. I swallow the lump in my throat, finding it difficult to concentrate. “I just…”

I told Dax the truth. I’m not letting his daughter go.

I definitely met my match in her. She’s everything I want. She’s my fucking sun, and I revolve around her. Without her, I feel lost, as if the law of gravity isn’t working. I’m freaking Winnie-the-Pooh who can’t stay away from his honey—so why the fuck am I out here in my car?

“He lost you—he’s a loser. He hurt you—that only proves the weakness of his character. Real men make their women cry from happiness, not pain.”

“I’ll help you fall in love with the ice again.” “Colt…” “I know what it means to be afraid. I know what it feels like to not be able to even look at the thing that brought you pain and misery. I know about all of that, and I know how to fight it. So, if you let me, I’d love for us to try. Okay?”

me. “But first, I’ll make him pay for what he did. I promise. He’s going down next Saturday.”

A thousand different emotions swirl around my head, but one is louder than the rest. It’s called love, and I’m a fucking loser.

stronger. I want Colton to be mine even if I’m scared to be heartbroken. I want to go all in and risk everything I have for him.

“I’m not cold. And Drake always calls it the sin-bin,” I murmur. Colt takes off his leather jacket and puts it next to him on the bench. “I like that more.”

“Sure you do, my little sinner.” He wraps his arm around my waist and hauls me onto his lap, making me straddle his legs. “Why are we here, Ava?”

“Tell me you’re mine.” His voice cracks. “Tell me you’re all mine, Ava.”

“I’m yours, Colt.” All the tension leaves my body with my words. “I’m only yours.”

When he’s with me, I notice way less than I do when he’s not. He invades my thoughts, just by being himself. He makes me feel safe and secure, even on the ice.

Colt makes me feel like home, like I belong, and I forget where we are.

“I don’t need the world,” I tell him, standing on my tiptoes. “I need my boyfriend to kiss me and make my head spin.”

“Your boyfriend, huh?” A light peck on the corner of my mouth.

“The best boyfriend I’ve ever had.” And I finally get the reaction I’m hoping for. Colton’s possessive ...

She’s my fucking life, and it’s time for her to know that. Keeping my feelings to myself damaged our relationship just as much as my silence about my trip to San Jose. I need to fix it.

In these months I’ve spent with

her, I’ve become a totally different person. For her and because of her.

“I love you, Ava. I love you more than fucking hockey, and for someone like me, that sounds like the ravings of a lunatic. If anything, I’m obsessed with you, because any time I get to taste you, I crave you even more. You are the only girl I want, the only one I’ll ever need. And I’ll do anything for you to give me another chance. Please, Ava.”

I only hope she wants the same thing as me. Us. Together. Always.

“That’s not how relationships work, Colton. At least, not for me. If we’re together, we share the good and the bad. If you’re sad, I want to know why and help you deal with it. If you’re happy, I want to be happy with you, help you celebrate your achievements. We both had exciting news that day, and it would’ve been absolutely amazing to celebrate it together. I understand where you’re coming from, but you went about it all wrong.”

“One time I let you fuck me bare, and I got pregnant in a fucking penalty box,” she drawls. And then she bursts out giggling. “We conceived our baby in the sin-bin. It’ll be quite a story for our family.”

“Quite a story, you said? Does that mean you want a family with me?”

“I do,”