SIN-BIN (Sinners on the Ice #1)

by Anastasija White

One by one, they leave Colt and me alone—even Drake and Clay, who can’t stop blabbering about how proud he is of his best friend and his accomplishments.

“Make sure to celebrate your big news with your girlfriend since you finally found the balls to say it aloud,” Clay laughs, walking away. “What news?” I ask, circling my hands around my boyfriend’s shoulders. “It can wait. I’m more interested in what you wanted to tell me. You sounded too mysterious for me not to be curious,” he murmurs, his strong arms wrapping around me. Before I know it, he lifts me, and my legs lock behind his back. “Let’s get you onto the ice.” He walks toward the ice, stepping on it gingerly. My grip around his shoulders becomes tighter. Colt catches my gaze, and a soft smile curls his lips. “I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you. You can trust me.” “I know.” I flash him a little smile.

“I’m so proud of you, Ava. You’re so thoughtful and caring, and you give so much of yourself to others without wanting anything in return. I admire you, and I honestly believe you’ll do amazing.” He dips his head down, taking my chin between his fingers. “You deserve the world, baby. And I want to hand it to you all the damn time.” “I don’t need the world,” I tell him, standing on my tiptoes. “I need my boyfriend to kiss me and make my head spin.” “Your boyfriend, huh?” A light peck on the corner of my mouth. “The best boyfriend I’ve ever had.” And I finally get the reaction I’m hoping for. Colton’s possessive side makes my heart go insane. “If you’re going to even hint about the other guys you’ve been with, I’m going to fuck that attitude out of you.” His lips are hovering over mine, and my whole body comes to life. “Am I clear?” “Yes.”

“Your phone is off. Coming here was the best shot I had.” “A very bad decision. I don’t want to talk to you.” “Ava, I’m sorry. I know I let you down⁠—” “You know nothing, Colton.” My stress level is through the roof, and holding myself back is definitely not what I have in mind. I jump to my feet, meeting his gaze and seething. “I thought my life was falling apart when I saw the test results. I spent almost two fucking hours crying on my bed. For two fucking hours, I was pitying my own existence. Then I thought, Colt and I are in this together. We’ll figure it out. We’ll talk, and we’ll decide what to do.” “I just got back from San Jose; I signed the contract—” he blurts, the words rushing out of his mouth. “I don’t fucking care!” I shriek, bursting into tears. “When Jordan told me you knew about my pregnancy, I was

ready to fucking kill her. It was my secret, and I wanted to tell you myself. I went to your place. I hoped to talk to you so we could figure out our decision together. I was so blinded by my fury, I didn’t even realize you knew until I was already in your apartment. My boyfriend knew I was pregnant, and he did nothing. He didn’t call me. He didn’t text me. I’m eighteen. I’m a freshman with no future, and you left me when I needed you.” “Ava, Thursday was crazy. I went to see my dad before my flight, then I went to the airport. I landed in San Jose around one a.m. on Friday. I talked with my agent for a few hours, and I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the hotel pillow. Yesterday wasn’t any different. I tried to call you when I got home, but your phone was off⁠—” I cut him off. There’s only one question burning the tip of my tongue. “When did you know about the contract?” “On Tuesday morning.” “And you couldn’t find a single moment to let me know?” My voice trembles, and my tears are suffocating me. “Not even when I came to tell you about my news?” “You were so excited about your job, about your bookstagram, and I didn’t want to ruin the moment for you. I was going to tell you before, but things were hectic. We haven’t spent more than twenty minutes together since⁠—”

“Go away,” I mutter, staring him right in the eyes. “Ava, please⁠—” “Go the fuck away.” “Babe, please, this isn’t us. Let’s talk⁠—” “There is no fucking us, Colton. You left me when I was scared. You disappeared when I needed you. So please, do me a fucking favor and see yourself out.” “I wanted to secure my future, so I could take care of you. Of our baby. I wanted to give you the life you deserve.” “I don’t need anything from you, Colton. I’ll figure everything out on my own.” I wipe away my angry, disappointed, sad tears. I’m struggling for breath; my vision blurs, and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. “There’s no need to pretend like you care, like you’ll give a damn about me once you graduate and leave the state. You can carry on with your life as if we never happened.” He clenches his jaw hard. His deep brown eyes are stormy, like a night cloud ready to down...

so the whole fucking world—so every single person on this planet—will know you’re...

Her telling me to go away broke my heart in two. Her thinking I’d abandon her for my career, her tears, and how miserable she looked added heaviness to my chest, and for a moment I thought I’d suffocate.

I never plan to leave her. She’s way more important to me than she realizes. She’s my fucking life, and it’s time for her to know that. Keeping my feelings to myself damaged our relationship just as much as my silence about my trip to San Jose. I need to fix

it.

“Ava, we need to talk.” “Why?” “Because we can’t throw away everything so easily. Let me explain myself.” This time, I get her undivided attention and also her fury. She stops and faces me, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not the one who threw everything away. You not telling me about the Thunders is the best evidence of where you see me in your future. I don’t belong here.” “I went to San Jose to sign my contract. It was about my career, about our future.” “There is no ‘our future’, Colton. You’re leaving as soon as the school year is over. You’re going pro, while I⁠—” “Come with me,” I interrupt her, and her jaw drops. Her eyes go round as she gawks at me in bewilderment. “You can transfer to another college. Or just skip a year until our baby is old enough⁠—” “What makes you think I’m going to do that?”

take a step closer, taking her chin between my fingers. “Because I know you.”

“You don’t,” she finally mutters and takes a step back, letting my hand fall from her face. “I knew you were going to leave, and I was happy for you and your future no matter what, because you’re talented and playing hockey is your life. I would’ve never thrown a fit just because you’re moving forward. I would’ve supported you through and through. That’s what people do, Colton, when they care about others. While you? You didn’t think about anyone except yourself. You didn’t even try to contact me after you knew⁠—” “That’s bullshit,” I snap, as lightning crosses the sky. “How do you know anything about how I reacted when Jordan told me about your pregnancy?” “If you cared, you would’ve found a way to contact me. On your way to your father’s. On your way to the airport. On your way to your hotel.” She spits words like venom, a poison that I fully deserve. “Just to make sure I knew you weren’t running away, that you weren’t leaving me alone in this. I would’ve been angry with you for not telling me sooner,

anyone would’ve, but I would’ve known you were going to come back and we would talk. You did nothing.”

“Some habits die hard, Ava. I’m used to keeping things to myself. Yes, I put off talking to you till the very last minute, but I wanted you to know. I went to your dorm, hoping to see you during your break⁠—” “Instead, you saw my roommate, found out about my pregnancy, and carried on with your plans as if nothing changed.” She drags her eyes down my form and then back to my face. “Screw you, Thompson.” Ava storms off, and I try to calm my fired-up nerves. “Everything changed!” I bellow, running after her and catching her elbow. I wheel her around and peer down to have a better look at her face. “Everything changed once I knew you might be pregnant. The only thought I had was that I needed to secure my future for us.” “There is no us, Colton.” she says angrily, and the first raindrop falls on her face. “I don’t want to have anything in common with someone as selfish as you. I’ll figure it out on my own.” “I am ...

could’ve gone wrong, and I would’ve needed to look for another option, including working for my dad.” Ava’s brows pinch together. “Don’t tell me you even thought about working for your father.” “I not only thought about it, I even asked him, in case something went wrong with hockey. ...

“You love hockey,” she whispers. The crease between her eyebrows deepens. “And you hate your father…” “I don’t really hate him,” I tell her, reaching over to her face and wiping away the raindrops. “My talk with him was refreshing and kind of eye-opening. We’re good.”

Her eyes are tearful as she chews her bottom lip. I hurt her, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. Yet I can do better, and she knows it. In these months I’ve spent with her, I’ve become a totally different person. For her and because of her. I’m not afraid to open up, to show my affection and finally confess my feelings. The L word doesn’t seem as useless as it did before. The old me would’ve laughed just

thinking about it, but the new me is desperate for her love. It’s as if it’s the sole...

“I messed up, and I’m incredibly sorry for that. I shouldn’t have hidden my news from you. I shouldn’t have left you without saying anything. While making sure I’d have the means to financially support you, I almost ruined what we have.” “Almost?” And just like that, I know it’s my Ava talking to me. My girl, my only source of happiness. “Almost,” I state, inhaling deeply. “I love you, Ava. I love you more than fucking hockey, and for someone like me, that sounds like the ravings of a lunatic. If anything, I’m obsessed with you, because any time I get to taste you, I c...

“Ava, I’m really sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have put off my talk with you about the Thunders. It was a mistake. But I thought I was doing the right thing, letting you shine⁠—”

She cuts me off. “That’s not how relationships work, Colton. At least, not for me. If we’re together, we share the good and the bad. If you’re sad, I want to know why and help you deal with it. If you’re happy, I want to be happy with you, help you celebrate your achievements. We both had exciting news that day, and it would’ve been absolutely amazing to celebrate it together. I understand where you’re coming from, but you went about it all wrong.”

“You wouldn’t have spoiled anything. I knew it was going to happen. I didn’t have any doubt they were going to sign you.” She watches me. “You’re naturally good at hockey. It’s your passion, your driving force, and it’s your future. I would’ve only been happy for you, and it would’ve forced us to have the talk we had been putting off. We didn’t talk about our future, not once, and if you had told me about the Thunders, I would’ve asked you what it meant for you and me. We could’ve figured everything out.” “I was so used to keeping things to myself, so when we didn’t have time to meet, I thought it wasn’t a big deal. I thought I could always tell you on my way to the airport, and that was exactly what I was going to do. But your roommate dropped a bomb on me, turning my mind into jelly. I only knew I needed to make sure you would’ve everything you need for you and our baby.”

“One time I let you fuck me bare, and I got pregnant in a fucking penalty box,”

“We conceived our baby in the sin-bin. It’ll be quite a sto...

“Quite a story, you said? Does that mean you want a family with me?”

“I do,”

“But, Colt, I’m only eighteen. I don’t have a clear vision of my future, unlike you, and it’s my first year in college. What if it’s ...

“There’s no what-if. I love you, Ava. I love how strong and confident you are, because it motivates me to be the same way. I love how vulnerable you can be, because now I know sharing my worries and concerns doesn’t make me weak. It means I can be myself with you, the real me, flawed and closed off to most people. Just like you can be yourself with me. You let me see you, the real you. And I fucking fell in love with you, babe. With a feisty girl who didn’t hesitate to slap a total stranger for his disrespectful words. With a compassionate friend who would do anything for their closest people. With a stunning girl who looks incredible no matter what she’s wearing. With a naughty girl who’s open to experimenting, who’s r...

“Wait, wait, wait, Colt.” She stops me, and I peer at her. “I’m going to tell you something, and I want you to fuck me based on how happy the news makes you.” “Is there anything better than you loving me back? Better than you wanting to have a family with me?” “Not better, but I think it’ll make you really happy.” “What is it?” I haul her closer, nestling between her thighs. “Did you see my backpack?” My fingers skim along her skin and slide lower and lower, to her pussy. “We’ll need to go back to the dorm tomorrow, for the rest of my stuff.” “Are you moving in with me?” “Yes.” She reaches across my chest and pinches my nipple between her fingers. “Show me how happy you are about it.” “I’m going to make you scream, worshiping every curve and line of your perfect body, just like you deserve.” I bend down and hide my face in her pussy. Giving her pleasure is the only thing on my mind.

As soon as I lock eyes with Ava, the whole arena becomes empty and quiet. Such a gorgeous girl I have. I’ll never stop praising and complimenting her, because that’s exactly what she deserves.

I hear excited chattering, applause, and joyful screams. The entire arena is filled with sound. Yet I’m trying to find Ava with my eyes. I have something I want to ask her, and my heart is ready to jump out of my chest from nervousness. And also fear. A fucking monstrosity spreads its venom all over my skin, and I start sweating. I’m so afraid she’s going to freak out, or worse—tell me off just because of how I decided to handle it.

The truth is, I want it to be big. Just like my love for her is enormous. I want everyone to know what this girl means to

me, even if it means making a fool of myself. She’s worthy of only big gestures, not half-assed attempts. Ava deserves the world at her feet, and I intend to give it to her on a silver platte...

My girl is wearing my jersey, and this simple realization turns me into a lovesick puppy. Mine, mine, mine…it’s a mantra in my head, getting louder and louder.

“You’re wearing my jersey.” I ball my fist over the ring as I continue to stare Ava in the eyes. Ava puts her hands on her hips, smiling from ear to ear. “I’m proud to be Colton Thompson’s girlfriend, and I want everyone to know it.” She takes a step closer. “Kinda staking my claim on you.” “And I’m staking my claim on you.”

“I know you might be furious for what I’m about to do, but I don’t care. You’re my most precious treasure, my fucking Stanley Cup, my everything. Even a day without you feels like the loneliest eternity, one I have no desire to go back to ever. I fell in love with you once and for all, and I’m certain you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” “Colt…” she murmurs, her eyes glimmering with happiness. “I love you too.” I take a deep breath and lower myself onto one knee in front of her. Her palm flies to her mouth, covering it as she stumbles back a little. “I’m Colton Thompson. The future center for the California Thunders. A soon-to-be Great Lake University graduate. A fucking stubborn idiot, and a closed

off moron. I’m a grump, and I’m not always the best person to be around, but you love me. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you, but here we are. You’re my life,...

“I kinda hate you right now for drawing so much attention to us,” she mutters, and I barely hold myself back from bursting with laughter. This is so her, and she’s so mine. It’s insane how much this girl means to me. “The winner takes it all, Ava,” I state, grinning. “I want to become not only a national champion, but also your fiancé today. So? Will you be my wife?” “Yes,”

“It’s so beautiful.” I stand up, and she jumps on me, locking her legs behind my back. I hold her close, coasting my eyes over her face. “So glad you like it.”

“Everyone’s watching.” “They all envy me. To have such a stunning woman as you, I’m one lucky idiot.” “Can you imagine what would happen if they knew I’m pregnant?” Her emerald green eyes are full of concern. “They’d think that’s the only reason you proposed.” “They can all go to hell. I don’t care. I would’ve married you anyway. Pregnant or not.” “So cocky.” Ava inches closer to my face, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth and grazing her teeth over it. “And so dominant.” “Just like you love it.” “Absolutely.”

“I love you, Colt.” “I love you too, Ava,” I confess.

This year has brought me way more than I ever could’ve dreamt of. Family. Happiness. Love. Her kicking me out of her dorm the first time we met is what started us. And even if there were a ton of fuckups, I wouldn’t have changed any of it.

“If you continue to act like a brat, I’m going to fuck you like one, babe,” I tell her as she rotates her hips, rubbing her pussy over my face. “Make me come with your tongue, and later do whatever the hell you want,” Ava pants, shoving her cunt in my face. “I want you to take control.”

“Such a good fucking girl you are, wifey. Such a good fucking girl,” I pant, pressing my forehead to hers. “Tell me who your pussy belongs to.” “You.”

“You’re mine, Colton. Only mine.” Our lips collide, and the world around us ceases to exist. Ava is my end and my beginning. She’s my weakness and my strength. She’s my soulmate, and I’m incredibly grateful to her for giving me a chance. For letting me in and allowing me to love her. For loving me back and being my family. She’s my only one, and it’ll stay like this forever. Always.