Six Summers to Fall

by C.W. Farnsworth

It feels like he’ll see all my vulnerabilities, anyway. It’s nice to be seen. It’s also scary.

At this point in my career, I’ve seen hundreds of people wear my jersey. Maybe thousands. But this feels very different. This is the person I could see taking my last name, not just wearing it.

“Because your parents were there?” This girl. “No. Because you were there, Harper.”

“I fell for you more in a week than I’ve ever cared for anyone else. Truthfully? That scared the shit out of me. And you acted like we were a fling that had run its course.”

“You asked me earlier if we’ll work out, and I copped out. What I should have said is, ‘I sure fucking hope so.’

He’s ruining me, is what he’s doing. With the way he’s looking at me—possessive and consuming.

“In this, you look like mine.”

I feel unhinged. Unsteady. The way he fills me is so satisfying, but I also feel like I’ll never get enough. He plays my body like an instrument custom-designed for him,

“I only called you Sunshine ironically once,” he tells me. “Every other time, it’s been because that’s how I feel around you. Bright and happy. Being around you makes me so fucking happy, Harper.”

“I’m falling in love with you,” I whisper. His fingers continue playing with my hair, my favorite smile appearing. “Good. I’ve been falling for a while, baby.”

“I think you went through a hell no one should ever have to experience. I think even anyone who’s never been hurt is scared of loving and losing. I think that you can be strong and independent and also rely on someone else.

“What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” I paste a smile on my face. “Don’t say nothing. Say you don’t want to talk about it if you don’t.”

“You stayed, Mom. I know it wasn’t Dad making the decision. That it was the struggles talking. and that he didn’t want to miss the rest of our lives. But still, he left us. You stayed. And you held everything together so that I could fall apart. I never thanked you for that, and I should have.”

Powers, one of the rookie defensemen, has been sulking in a corner all night, tugging at his tie and glowering at anyone who passes by. All he was expected to do was attend.

I want his book

My point is, it can mean something to you and other people, okay? If you want it to?”

Mental illness is confusing and debilitating—for those who suffer from it and for those who love those who do.

“I fell in love with you during your dance routine to that Spice Girls song,” he tells me. “And then again, when I saw you in that pink bikini. When you dropped that lime. When we kissed for the first time. When you caught that fish. When we danced at Amelia’s wedding. When you showed up at my game, wearing my jersey. And I’ll fall in love with you a thousand more times.”

Crying twice in two days is a new record for me. “I love you,” I whisper. “I love you, Harper.”

I’m suddenly immensely grateful that my dad got to meet Drew. That Drew knew my dad.

Plus, I told my parents.” “So, basically, I was the last to know?” “Yep. I wanted you to feel really bad if you turned me down.”

“I also asked your dad when we were there for that Memorial Day cookout.” Harper bites her bottom lip, leaning into me. “You weren’t kidding about the months, huh? That was back in May.”

It took us six summers to fall. And at the end was this. A lifetime of love.