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August 25 - September 14, 2023
Where were the Portuguese custard tarts? I was promised Portuguese custard tarts.
“You don’t need to like me to let me make you feel good.”
Dublin
??? Her name isnt Dublin lol wat
Henry Plotkin and the Mystic Potion. Henry Plotkin and the Girl who Dared. Henry Plotkin and the Magic Wand.
yer a wizrd, ‘arry. ✨
She was, in fact, sleeping peacefully on her queen-size bed, still in her dressing gown, Cheaters dancing on her television.
🥲
“She had two hours to put on shoes. She chose to watch Cheaters.”
as 👏 she 👏 should 👏
Ollie vB: How is Delaware settling in? Romeo Costa: Dallas.
oh I get it now
Zach Sun: Mussolini’s right hand. Ollie vB: *Mussolini’s jerk-off hand. Romeo Costa left the chat. Ollie vB added Romeo Costa to the chat.
Ollie vB: I’m never going to unsee the picture of Romeo turning blue when she wiggled her little ass on his lap. Boss bitch move. Zach Sun: Or when Rom threw a hissy fit after she hit on the co-pilot. His self-control evaporated quicker than a thought in Ollie’s brain.
Brat is her entire personality.
😇
Zach Sun: Hissy fit #2 duly recorded and entered into the meeting’s minutes. The woman turned you into an ape.
I could kiss her in that moment. Of course, she’d probably bite my lips off as payback.
“If you sit on my face and let me eat you out through your nightgown, I’ll buy you the Astor Opera House.”
👅
Show us on the sex doll where she touched you.
😭
“I have my eye on you, Costa.” “Your eyes are none of my concern. Your arm, however, is another matter. If you still want it attached to the rest of your body, I suggest you remove it from my wife’s lap.”
👏 MY WIFE.
Ollie vB: The bride looked exquisite. Romeo Costa: Bleach your eyeballs immediately. She wasn’t yours to look at.
MINE
Is Denver excited about Paris?
😭DENVER
Ollie vB: I hate to say this, Costa, but you’ve always been a prude. Right, Zach? Zach Sun left the chat. Romeo Costa left the chat. Ollie vB: So dramatic.
She punched me in the face, frantic.
same tbh
The smart thing to do would be to put her on the couch and get back to my business. I was going to do it, too. Stand up and rid myself of her. Only, I didn’t.
🥰
“I’ll see you around when I see you around, I guess.”
😕
I’m sorry what
The world of shotput had missed out on a natural talent.
Ollie vB: Admit it, Costa. You miscalculated. You wanted dumb and dumber and got the best and the brightest. Alexa, play American Idiot.
At this point, we’re all living in a simulation, and Detroit Townsend has admin access. You cannot convince me otherwise . Romeo Costa: Detroit COSTA.
DETROIT COSTA.
“Sir, you have never, in the eleven years I’ve known you, missed an appointment.” “I have never, in the eleven years you have known me, chained my destiny to that of a beautiful sociopath.”
“Well, the fact that she throws bomb-ass parties. She said there would be special catering, international alcohol, and fire theater. And so far, Derbyshire hasn’t let me down.”
DERBYSHIRE.
“I knew he was going to ruin all the fun. Next time, don’t invite him, Daly City.”
DALY CITY.
Not my wife.
MY WIFE.
Shortbread licked the inside of an Oreo. “Hanging up our wedding portrait.” “In my office?” “Where else would I hang it?” She nodded for Vernon to hike up the left edge, then signaled for him to stop with a raised cookie. “Perfect.” I studied the image, noting one important fact. “I’m not in this.” She beamed. “I know. Isn’t it perfect?”
“I’ve had a job.” “Operating the kiss cam for your college basketball team doesn’t count. Especially since you were fired.” “Unjustly.”
U N J U S T L Y
The
CONCEAL DONT FEEL
cold never bothered me—I
DONT LET IT SHOW
“We both know you finish dinner in point-two seconds every night to kick me out early so you and Lucifer can get freaky.”
That dang door clearly could’ve fit both him and Rose.”
THIS IS A LIE.
“Okay, Zaddy,” I purred.
How is Des Moines, anyway?
DES MOINES.
Detroit?
I’m sorry what?
Did Durban not get her hands on the latest Henry Plotkin book and take her anger out on you?”
DURBAN.
He would forever be my perfect, dark Romeo.
“Nothing.” I slipped a hand around her narrow waist, drawing her to me, not giving a single lonely damn that her entire family watched. “I just thought I’d take you up on that offer for the date.” “The date was supposed to take place when I returned from Georgia.” “That timeline doesn’t work for me.” She scrunched her nose. “Why not?” “Because I cannot stay away from you for longer than forty-eight hours.”
Dallas Costa frightened me. She wasn’t Morgan. She didn’t need a key to my heart. She’d already kicked down the fucking door.
<3
Take Daytona to eat KFC.
DAYTONA.
“Decatur called to thank Mom.”
DECATUR.
