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“You’ll see me again. When it’s time, I’ll meet you in a field of marigolds. Just like the one you were named after.”
don’t know, Goldie,” he whispers. “I woke up and just felt like you were there. That you needed me. And then—”
His copper eyes take in my face. “I don’t like seeing you cry, Goldie.”
Cade Jennings was always there for me
when I needed him—until he wasn’t.
For a few short seconds, I remember why I gave her the nickname Goldie in the first place. Aside from it being a shortened version of her name, she always reminded me of the sun. She brought light into my life. And for right
now, even if it’s only for a brief moment, she brings a little bit of light into a darkness.
Sometimes when you’re grieving you don’t want to be told things will get better. You just want to feel the pain without people making false promises. With death nothing gets better. They’re still gone. Things just get more tolerable to deal with.
It feels like I haven’t really slept since Mom died. Every time I shut my eyes, I imagine what
she looked like. I have so many amazing memories to remember my mother, and the only one that seems to stick is the tragic last one I have of her in her bed.
Now, I don’t know how to fucking cope with the fact Mom is dead. And I’m going to have to live with the fact that my last memory of her is of her lifeless body.
She’s always been my kryptonite, my favorite drug and sobriety was never an option.
I’d do anything to help heal his heart. Even if it means breaking mine again in the process.
“I’m tired of fighting myself over how much I think about
you. I’m tired of telling myself that I shouldn’t look at my little sister’s best friend the way I look at you. I’m really just tired of pretending that my entire head isn’t full of you and only you.”
“I haven’t fallen in love with anyone since you left. I’m not able to. You can’t fall in love with someone if your heart still belongs to someone else.”
