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“I don’t know, Goldie,” he whispers. “I woke up and just felt like you were there. That you needed me. And then—”
Oh my heart young love
Cade Jennings was always there for me when I needed him—until he wasn’t.
She always said she admired how I was as sweet as honey with a little bit of tang and sass.
Taking a deep breath, I look up and into the eyes of the boy who broke my heart. Except, it’s no longer a boy that looks back at me. It’s a man, and he looks better than I could’ve ever imagined.
The Marigold that left for college and the Marigold glaring back at me right now are two very different people. This new version of her has way more bite, it seems. It shouldn’t excite me. Yet, it does.
For a few short seconds, I remember why I gave her the nickname Goldie in the first place. Aside from it being a shortened version of her name, she always reminded me of the sun. She brought light into my life. And for right now, even if it’s only for a brief moment, she brings a little bit of light into a darkness.
I used to know Mare almost as well as I knew myself. Now it feels like I know nothing about her. I know everything about who she used to be and nothing about who she is now.
Well.. Who's Fault is that
With a smile on my lips, I make my wish. I wish for Cade Jennings. I wish for him three times, hoping maybe the extra two times will be the reason it comes true.
But deep down, the only boy I’ve ever wanted to kiss was the one staring at me like he might do just that—kiss me.
“If I tell you my wish, it won’t come true.” “That must be one special wish.” I laugh. If only he knew. “Only the most special.”
THIS IS SO CUTE OMG
“That’s the thing about marigolds. They’re all beautiful.” My eyes immediately find his. He just called me beautiful. Right?
Cade Jennings may not have kissed me tonight, but even without the press of his lips to mine, I feel like he’s said so much without really saying anything at all.
I know he’s hurting. He has the right to hurt. I just wasn’t expecting for him to come in and declare war with me before I’ve even had time to finish getting ready.
She’s always been my kryptonite, my favorite drug and sobriety was never an option.
I’d do anything to help heal his heart. Even if it means breaking mine again in the process.
I feel like so many of our encounters, some of my favorite moments with him, all take place in the dark. It’s like the moon is the only thing to know anything about us. It’s a sad thought. Maybe I want him to acknowledge me in the sun, too.
“I’m tired of fighting myself over how much I think about you. I’m tired of telling myself that I shouldn’t look at my little sister’s best friend the way I look at you. I’m really just tired of pretending that my entire head isn’t full of you and only you.”
“If I’m being honest, Goldie, I’ve always loved the beautiful words you write, but I might like how your body speaks to me even more.”
“The thought of another man touching you, tasting you, is enough to drive me fucking mad.”
“Look at the stars with me, Goldie,” Cade whispers. As I adjust my body, getting comfortable in his warm embrace, I fight the urge to tell him I’d lie here with him forever. I’d count every star to infinity to stay locked in this moment with him.
A flame lights between us, the reflection of it dancing against his amber colored eyes. “Make sure you make it a good one.” I smile, closing my eyes right before I make my wish. I wish that Cade and I can figure this out together. I wish for this to be the best summer of my life. My biggest wish is that I get to keep him once this summer ends.
“I haven’t fallen in love with anyone since you left. I’m not able to. You can’t fall in love with someone if your heart still belongs to someone else.”
He may hate it, but he made me this way. He made me afraid to feel anything. I felt everything with him. When we ended, I had to attempt to feel nothing at all.
“When I was a kid, I’d always thought about the new freckles that popped up on your face with each hour you spent outside. I’d always felt like they needed a proper welcome now that they were part of a face as beautiful as yours. So now that I can, I want to kiss them hello.”
stooooooop
Grabbing her wrist, I place her hand against my heartbeat. Once I’m confident she won’t move her hand, I place a hand against her own heart, cherishing the way her heart seems to beat in the same rhythm as mine. It’s like our heartbeats have always beat in sync, like our hearts knew something we hadn’t quite realized.
“Come for me, baby. You can scream if you want to. There’s only me and the stars here to hear you.”
why is that so hot
want to hold her, to tell her how deep down I hate to see her cry. But right now I can’t see through the anger—the hurt—of her pretending that for one summer, she and I weren’t each other’s world. For me, she stayed my world every day after.
I’m so fucking mad at her. I’m so fucking gone for her. Always have been, always will be.
“You can’t hold a grudge against me for leaving when you’re the one who told me to go.” My jaw tenses. I shouldn’t have to explain this to her. “I absolutely can hold a grudge. It’s not about you leaving. It’s about the fact you never came back.”
We suck at using our words to communicate what we’re feeling. But the kiss says it all. Mare and I are unfinished business.
“Take that anger out on me, baby. Because I’m sure as hell about to take it out on you.”
I moan, my head falling backward with pleasure. “Oh, god.” “Cade,” he corrects. “That’s what you’ll be screaming by the time I’m done with you.”
This is my favorite thing ever every time
His eyes soften as he looks at me with such a powerful look, it’s the first time I wonder if he may love me back. And not the kind of love that comes with growing up with someone. The kind of love that’s all consuming. The kind of love that’s like a brand to the soul, one that lingers in the deepest depths of your heart for the rest of your life. The kind that goes from I love you to I’m in love with you.
“Teach me how to touch someone. I want to learn to do it right.” His body shudders. “I’ll teach you to touch me. You won’t be touching anyone else.”
“No physical pain could compare to the hurt of not having this moment with you. Fuck me, Cade. Make love to me and let me give you this. Let me have this. Hurt me because I promise it’ll be the best pain of my life.”
I tell myself that if she looks back, if she still has that same devastated look on her face that I’ll come clean. I’ll tell her that she owns me. That I’m hers in every way, and that I’ll do anything to be the one she comes home to at the end of the day. I’m ready to unleash everything…if she’d just look back. She never looks back.
Of course she doesnt.. You just ruined her
I don’t want either of us to end up like last time. For neither one of us to get hurt, we can’t end. I won’t let us end.”
“Nine years ago you made a wish, and I desperately wanted to know what you’d wished for. I wanted it to be for me—for us. I want to spend every birthday with you, be your every birthday wish, Goldie. Because you’ll always be mine. I want to be your forever. There isn’t a version of my future that doesn’t have you in it.”
im SOBBING
The moment he slides the ring down my finger, an overpowering sense of peace washes over me. Cade sucks a breath in at the same time as me, like we both feel it. The wind picks up, caressing my cheeks.
more uncontrollable sobbing
And as the man who I love holds me tight to his chest, his ring on my finger, I have this overwhelming feeling that it wasn’t fate that brought me back home. It was my mom and Linda who helped Cade and me rewrite our story.
