Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere

by Maria Bamford

If you have any mentals, you probably know what I mean. I’m not suicidal, but I’m also not particularly psyched.

I DID tell her that even if a coffin is tight around the hips, eventually it fits! She told me not to use that in my act. But the joke’s on me: She got herself cremated and now she’s just a POUND! She can wear ANYTHING!

A handshake agreement is made that—at least for today—neither of us will kill ourself. (Don’t worry! We have a safety-plan agreement we got from the National Suicide Prevention Hotline clamped in a magnetic Chip Clip and hung on our refrigerator, witnessed and notarized by Carol Grisham, MFT, of Pasadena, California, who takes all insurance but may retire soon.