“Baby, listen to me,” I say, keeping my eyes on the road. “It will hurt. I’m not going to lie about that. But I can guarantee you, no matter what happens, I’ll always love you, I’ll always want you, and even if you are a flappy-vagina woman, whatever the hell that means, you will be my flappy-vagina woman.” She groans again, this time buckling over. “Oh God, you’re so good at saying all the right bullshit things. I love you.” If I weren’t so scared, I’d laugh.
