Kiss and Don't Tell (The Vancouver Agitators, #1)

by Meghan Quinn

Man, I’m a fucking idiot.

I love when a man knows

Jesus, fuck,” Posey says, falling out of his chair. “Satan.” He points toward the door.

cackling

Potato, I think that’s his name, the one who owns the house,

POTATO

Taters puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “If you want your girlfriend to stay, then Daddy says it’s okay.” He leans in and presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Daddy will do anything for his precious baby.”

Oh potato

“I, uh, I only really know two,” I admit, wanting to be swallowed whole from the confession. “What do you mean, you know two?” “Two sex positions,” I say, and when my eyes meet his, I watch them turn soft with understanding.

cool so i’m actually just gonna kill myself instead!

“I’ve only been with one guy,” I say. The cider really has loosened up my lips. “He was my first true love, just like Silas and his girl. We were each other’s firsts. I think he wasn’t quite sure what to do with me, so we only stuck to two things that worked for him.” “Worked for him?” Pacey asks, brow lifted. “What do you mean worked for him?” “That got him off.” “And what about you?”

WAIT ISNT HER EX HIS HALF BROTHER. IM CACKLING

“Have you ever had an orgasm?” I think about it. “I mean . . . I think so.”

babe you would know

“Winnie, you’d know if you orgasmed, if it actually happened.”

this part

“Josh—that was your boyfriend?”

uh oh ooooo oh

“Lawes, you back here?”

fuck off posey

“Well, thanks for a great game, chum.”

so basically i’m killing myself again

The chatter of the boys is the first thing I hear, and then when the main living space comes into view,

nope i’m turning back around and going to my room

Migraine? Again? What are they talking about?

don’t be dumb

Okay, fear starts to travel up the back of my neck as I listen in. Throwing up, too? Migraine? This is serious. I want to ask what’s going

…………i’m just gonna keep my thoughts inside my head

Then . . . hell . . . then Josh texted me. Yeah, Josh. Apparently, he needs to talk to me about something. And he kept texting back after my replies.

oh fuck

The table is silent as I take a seat with my breakfast plate in hand. I can feel all sets of eyes on me as I scoot in my chair and pick up my fork.

i wonder why. they probably heard your asses

“Sort of like . . . a donkey in heat,” he continues. “Yeah, I heard that too,” Posey adds. “Like a heeeeee-haaaaawww, hehehe-hahaha.” I did not fucking sound like that. “You know, I thought it was more like a duck who got his bill stuck in a door.”

i’m cackling omfg

You’re mine now, Winnie.” When she doesn’t say anything, I ask, “Does that scare you?”

yes because you're LYING to her

Lawes’s sister is still single,” Hornsby says with a wink. I point my finger at him. “Off-fucking-limits and you know that.”

sure she is

Four days ago, I don’t think Winnie would’ve felt that level of comfort around the boys. She’d seen us all as overgrown, potentially dangerous men when she first arrived. And yet, she’s treating them like—like brothers now. I like that. A lot.

ITS ONLY BEEN A WEEK??????????

“Do you want water or milk?” Uncle RJ asks, peeking his head in, startling me just as I was about to reach for the trophy. “Both,” I answer. “Both?” he asks, confused. “Uh, yeah. I like them to be mixed together.” The thought of milk and water mixed together actually makes bile form in the back of my throat, but I’m not as quick on my feet as I would’ve hoped. What host only has milk or water to offer a guest? “Oh, that’s an, uh, an interesting combination.” “Tastes like breastmilk, watered down like that.”

what the hell is wrong with you 😭

I sprint down the walkway in my bare feet, swatting at overgrown branches that attempt to stop me.

I feel like you could've at least grabbed your shoes

Drink my breastmilk, you old hag,” I yell as I hop into the car and slam the door. Smacking the dashboard, I yell, “Go, go, go. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, GO!”

you're banned from talking

I’m pretty sure I won’t ever be able to let you go.”

I really need you to tell her about Josh, it's stressing me out

So, this”—I motion between us—“this is real, then? Like . . . really real.” “Yeah. It’s fucking real.”

TELL HER ABOUT JOSH IM GONNA CRASH OUT

Katherine: The irresponsibility and total disregard for personal safety during this entire trip is frankly disturbing. I’m not sure I can stand to be your friend anymore if you continue to make these kinds of decisions.

maybe she wants to be kidnapped Katherine

Josh: Haven’t heard from you in a bit. I know my recent texts have caught you off guard, but I really want a chance to explain things to you. Please, Winnie. I truly believe letting you go was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. Let me prove it to you.

how bout you leave me alone instead

Those six words make my stomach roll, because even though I don’t want anything to do with Josh, not after how he treated me, after how much my mom despised him, I’m still curious. Curious what he has to say.

hmmm just block him now

Hornsby: Called it. Posey: My nipples got hard reading that.

cackling

swallow hard. “Josh?” I ask. He also rises, and his eyes focus on me. “Winnie,” he says breathlessly. “Wow, you’re the last person I expected to run into.” Oh God, what are the chances of running into Josh, in Vancouver, at Pacey’s neighborhood market?

I’m so stunned, so taken aback by the look in his eyes, the set of his jaw, the shape of his nose. He almost—God, I must be losing it, because he almost looks like Pacey.

I, banging my head against the wall

He pulls on the back of his neck. “I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I found out just as your mom had to step away from the store. I thought it would be too much for you to handle and I didn’t know what my status was when it came to survival. I thought it would be easier on you if I just . . . stepped aside.”

i honestly can see both sides of this story

And instead of telling you I didn’t love you, I’d say you’re the love of my life, and I can’t imagine another minute knowing you’re with someone else.”

oh my god what on earth

But not just any man. I catch you with Josh. Fucking Josh, Winnie.”

babe youre not supposed to know what Josh looks like

He’s my half-brother, okay?” “What?” she asks, her eyes wide with shock. “Your half-brother? Did you know—” I can see the wheels turning in her head as she puts the pieces together. “Have you known this whole time? Every time I spoke of him, every time I mentioned the damage he’d done, you knew he was your brother. Didn’t you?”

I told you to tell her earlier

don’t belong to anyone,” she says, her tone angry. “Bullshit,” I shout, taking a step forward. “You belong to me. Not him.”

okay Taylor swift pipe down

Her eyes grow angry. “Is this some sick competition between you and your brother? Am I just some pawn in your game?” “Don’t flatter yourself,” I say, before I can stop myself. Fuck, I didn’t mean that. From her shocked and furious reaction, I know she’s not happy with that response, either.

bro who WOULD be happy with that response

She goes straight to her suitcase, tosses it on the bed, and then starts putting her things in it. Because I’m a masochist and can’t seem to stop myself, I ask, “Packing up to go see him?”

quick question. what the FUCK is wrong with you

“She lost her key,” Katherine says. “Trust me, I’m upset about it too, but I’ll call the locksmith and we’ll have this all sorted out.” She pats my shoulder coldly.

Katherine sucks

I reach down and pick it up. “Hey, Doc,” I answer. All the boys sit up and stare at me. “Hey, Pacey. Do you think you can come into my office tonight?”

oh shit

“Please, Jesus, read it out loud,” Taters says, far too invested in this. I unlock my phone and with a shaky finger, open her text. “‘Hey, Pacey. I made it back to my place safely. Thank you for asking. And no need to apologize. We said what we said.’” “Ooh, not the response we were looking for.” Hornsby winces. “I feel like throwing up,” Posey says as he stands and starts pacing. “How do we respond to that?”

they’re killing me

“Why does she hate us?” I whisper to Max. “I think she just hates life in general, and that hate is directed toward us.”

real