Dustwalker

by Tiffany Roberts

Here on the edge of the Dust, any path to shelter was one worth walking.

“Praise the Creators,” Ronin replied, “for they programmed you with far more patience than I.

Everyone was made in the image of the Creators, but none had been made equally.

Ronin’s processors would melt in trying to figure this woman out.

Had the Creators shaped humans first? Were they the flawed children who inspired the eventual crafting of bots, a more perfect reflection of the Creators themselves?

Distraction didn’t happen for bots. How had this woman commanded all his attention?

“I know close to a million words in this language, by some counts, and I still don’t know the right ones to say to you.”

The Dust favored the quick and the ruthless. There was no camaraderie to be found out there.

Lara envied the bots their purpose; damn it, she needed one, too!

I’m not your Tabitha, but I’m doing all in my power to keep you safe.”

“Does a thing have to be flesh and blood to be alive?” he asked, voice low and brimming with anger. “Do humans own that term, that they get to define it?”

“I think, I reason, I react to the world around me. I question what I know and see, and I wonder what the future might bring, though I know it won’t likely be different than the past. I hope!” His voice dwindled, becoming something raw. “I yearn.”

There was a chance he’d eventually discover the nature of his programming out in the Dust. But with Lara, he might learn how to live.

Was that the purpose of life? Was it simply a transient state between creation and destruction, birth and death, existence and nonexistence? A thing made more precious by its very frailty, made more miraculous because it had survived overwhelming odds, a thing that defied the universe by simply being?

“Bots were created to endure,” Ronin said. “Sometimes it seems like humans were created to suffer. I’m more impressed by your survival than by mine.”

“Let this ring be my vow. To protect you. To provide for you. To give you all you need that’s within my power, and find a way to give you whatever’s not.”

“Then I vow to protect you, too, to the best of my ability. To place my trust in you and never break yours. To remind you, every day, that you are alive.”

“I made a vow, Lara.” “I don’t want you held by words, Ronin.” “I’m not held by them. I’m…enriched by them.” His palm moved up to cup her cheek. “There’s nothing tying either of us to this place, apart from each other. My only bond is with you.” Lara’s stomach fluttered. “And what does that bond mean to you?” “It means I am alive.”

Tabitha would continue to exist in Lara’s memory, but there was nothing to show for her existence apart from a simple grave just west of Cheyenne. She’d left nothing behind but her love for her adopted sister. Was that enough?

“I don’t know what I am anymore,” he said, “and I don’t think I care, as long as I have you.”

Intense emotions are new to me. Haven’t hated anyone yet.”

I’ve taken you away from the only place you’ve ever known. There is uncertainty both before us and behind us. I’m not going to walk you to death when the only reason we left is because I care for you.”

I think I might be too worn out for it by then, anyway.” She walked past him. “I thought you already are, with the way you’ve been talking.” “Smart ass.” “My ass is, at best, of average intelligence.”

“The Creators fashioned bots and humans in their image. They set us in this world—” “Our creators were humans.”

“Made to be used by humans,” Ronin said. His jaw actuators clamped down. “Built for their pleasure. My purpose is to pretend I’m one of them, while they use me for their own satisfaction?” “Only to the shortsighted. To the narrow-minded.” “Everything I feel is a simulation? Any emotion I’ve experienced is just…an emulation of what humans possess?” The next chain in that thought process burst through him with all the force of the storm outside. “None of it is real.”

We were designed to bridge the gap between humanity and technology, to advance the entire world for everyone. And, above all, we were designed to learn.” “To learn what? That none of it matters? That we never had a choice?” Ronin demanded, stepping forward. “That what she and I shared only occurred because I was programmed for it?”

The light she cast on him was worth the darkness she’d leave in her wake. Love. It was the correct word, the only word. The most complicated combination of letters in any language. “My vow to you remains,” Ronin said, squeezing her hand gently, “but I must amend it. I will love you, even after darkness takes me.”

“What I have with you, Lara, has brought me more contentment than anything else. The memories I am making with you render everything before useless to me.” “What if there was someone you…you felt the same for as me, but just forgot about?” She clenched her fists in her lap. “If there was anyone I ever felt the same about, I would never have forgotten. You are burned into every circuit, every bit of data. You are part of my core function now.”

“Any time is a good time to tell someone there’s a toilet.”

Ronin had been slow to recognize his growing love for Lara, but he was learning hatred much faster. Lara was his life, his reason, his long-sought-after purpose. And Warlord meant to take her away.

But what was he missing now? Knowing his place in a dead world wouldn’t do him any good, wouldn’t help his future. He was whole; Lara had given him purpose, given him meaning. His core programming didn’t matter, never truly had. It had served only as a reason to move forward, as motivation to keep him going, and that need had been filled. “My only concern is Lara,” Ronin said.

“I spent a long time searching,” he said, rubbing his thumb over the back of Lara’s hand, “for my purpose. My programming. All of us were made for a reason.” He chuckled. “It’s not a reason I would have guessed…but it doesn’t matter anymore. I found what I was looking for before Newton told me any of that. “It was you, Lara. You’re my purpose, you’re my reason for carrying on, the reason I haven’t sat down in an abandoned building and never stood up again. I don’t think I’m selfish, normally, but I need you. I just found you, and I don’t think I can go any further without you.”

“I’ll try to keep out of trouble.” Ronin smiled. “Don’t lie to me, Lara Brooks. You’re going there specifically to cause trouble.” “Okay, out of unnecessary trouble, then.”

“You look like shit.” Ronin smiled back. “And you look beautiful.”

“Even after all these years, I haven’t had enough time to love you.”

“Bots always say what they mean,” Lara said, “but that doesn’t make it the truth.”

Two hours and eleven minutes after midnight, she released her final breath. It brushed over Ronin’s skin gently, the last caress from the woman he loved with all the power in his processors. He held her close and shut his eyes, pressing his lips to her hair. “I will love you even after darkness takes me,” he said, softly.

My place remains at your mother’s side. I cannot continue on, unchanging, as my children and grandchildren live and die. I ask that you do not reactivate me. Please bury me with your mother, so I can fulfill my promise and be with her during her long sleep.