The Wake-Up Call

by Beth O'Leary

He doesn’t get that life is too short for rules about what’s cool and what’s not cool; life’s for living.

Lucas likes to take up as much space as possible. This is presumably why he is always at the gym, so that he can claim yet another inch of my airspace with his ever-broadening shoulders and his bulging biceps.

Arjun didn’t have Izzy yelling You’re not good enough for her anyway, you cold-hearted, shiny-shoed robot-man! at him across the hotel gardens last Christmas.

I don’t understand how she does this to me, but something about Izzy Jenkins makes me want to behave very badly.

We are all misled and misdirected from time to time. Perhaps there really is no shame in that, as long as we wake up to it before it’s too late to change.

Whenever I call family, it feels a little strange slipping back into Portuguese again. I am a slightly different man in my mother tongue. Bolder, firmer, louder. I don’t think either English Lucas or Brazilian Lucas is the truer one, but the two languages bring out different sides to me, and right now I want to remember the version of myself who breathes through his Rs and goes after what he wants.

If you really like her, it’ll come to you, because if you’re made for each other, you’re made to heal her when she’s hurting.

reminding myself that what’s true in the gym applies here, too: holding it a little longer always pays off.

(Why is it that when men sweat, it’s sexy, but when I sweat, I look like I’ve been crossbred with a tomato?)

“Smoothies are just juices you aren’t sure whether to chew or not.”

“Maisie used to say we’re better with a little fatigue in our systems. It keeps us fighting.”

Now, through the chorus in my head telling me I’m not good enough, there is a small voice saying, Actually . . . I deserve better than this.

“Izzy Jenkins. My love for you grows stronger every day. I want forever with you. I want to find out how big and bright this love will be when we’re old and grey.”