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“Are you gonna kiss me or just stare at me?” Brendon plants his feet on the floor and uses the position to grind up against me. “I’ll kiss you when I’m good and goddamn ready.”
I’ve been living and breathing your touch lately. If I don’t come up for air, I’ll drown in you.
“No.” My tone is harsh, but I don’t care. “You are not hard to deal with. Whatever the fuck that means.”
“You’re my favorite person. You’re my person. There’s nothing about you I would change. You hear me?”
My boy, the love of my fucking life, looks at me like he’s a child. Hurt and uncertainty and humiliation clear in his sad brown eyes.
It makes my heart soar to know he reaches for me when he needs something. It’s everything because he is everything. My everything.
If I ever get a second alone with Chad, I’m going to make him pay for what he’s done.
Tell me what you want and it’s yours. I’ll give you everything.
“Whoever made you believe that is wrong. You are exactly the way you are supposed to be. You aren’t annoying or too much. Not to me, not to Jeremy, not to the rest of the guys on our team.”
I don’t know how much my dad loved my mom, but I know that if I lose Brendon, it will be the end of me.
“It’s a horrible idea. Why do you want this?” The smile drops from his face, and it turns serious. “Because you’re my person.”
Take a chill pill, caveman.
Brendon is one of those people who came into my life and changed it. We connected immediately like kindred spirits. In a matter of weeks, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. In less than six months, I knew I loved him. I tried to ignore it, pretend it wasn’t true, but there’s no one else for me. He’s my sun, and I revolve around him.
For the first time in a long fucking time, I’m at peace and just fucking happy. This is my boy, my man, mine. Even if we have to keep it a secret for a while, he’s still mine.
He can have every part of me. I have no walls anymore, nothing to hide. Not from him. Never from him, never again.
“You’re mine,” he says quietly against my lips. “Forever and ever, amen.” I beam at him.
This carefree, laughing side of him is everything. I would do anything to make him happy. Does he know that?
“I always want you to touch me. If I could ride on your back like a backpack all day, I would.”
“I’ve loved you for a long time,” I tell him quietly, looking at my feet. In the steamy shower, it feels safer to tell him this. “I was afraid you would see it and stop coming to me when you needed to cuddle or whatever.”
“I love you the way you are.” Brendon presses his lips to mine. It’s salty with tears but healing. “I can’t imagine my life without you,” he says, his voice rough. “You’re it for me.”
Brendon is very food motivated. Like a puppy.
He’s my life, my air, the reason my heart beats.
“I don’t deserve you,” he says with a gravelly voice. “But I’m selfish enough to not let you get away either.”
“Your past doesn’t determine your worth. No one is a better fit for me than you, and I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
Brendon is my home. And as much as that scares me, I won’t let it stop me from loving him out loud.
I don’t think people should have to “come out” but just be accepted for who they are. You love who you love, gender shouldn’t matter. So this isn’t me coming out, it’s me saying I married my best friend a few weeks ago, and I’m tired of feeling like I have to hide that fact. He’s an amazing man, and I am honored to call him mine.
Somehow, I managed to trick this guy into putting up with my shit for the rest of my life. Or his. He’s told me I can’t name the kids by myself, which is probably best for everyone. He keeps me grounded but lets me fly. He’s the Batman to my Robin. The peanut butter to my jelly.
I can see Paul tensing up, waiting for a bad reaction, so I do what I do best, distract. “Honestly, did you really think anyone else was going to put up with my shit? Good thing I’ve got a nice ass, huh?”
Paul will love me through those times. He’ll hold me while I break down and not judge me for it, close the cabinet doors that I leave open, and only grumble a little when he finds the milk warm on the counter.
“I love you, Brendon, until my heart stops beating.” “Then I’ll make sure it never does.”
“Any good parent figure just wants their kids to be happy. Who you are happy with shouldn’t matter.”
Watching this strong man give in to the pleasure I force on him gives me an appreciation for strength that I didn’t have before. It takes so much power to submit.
“You were never the problem, baby.” She cups my face and kisses my forehead. “And your momma would beat that man for leaving you, but his shortcomings are not your fault. They never were.”
Any excuse we could find to just drive. There’s something freeing about being on the freeway on your way to an adventure with your best friends, with the windows down and music blasting. Just a couple of dumb-ass kids eating junk food and seeing where the road takes them.
Loving Brendon is worth the risk.
