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gifts with too much meaning to live on without him,
what remains, what he owns, what’s left, fits into a suitcase.
he continues to be a tireless architect of his own undoing.
this is to be a one way trip,
He was a star. Now he is a case.
I am not good enough to be with you, and because I will not be with you, I am not good enough.
he was just offered the grand prize, and he turned away.
He envies her seemingly happy life,
He already misses Los Angeles, the whole fucking place.
squander his blood money,
Anyone can do anything to her; she couldn’t care less.
he decides to keep it apart and use it deliberately for one single thing.
become nearly impossible to strike the balance of maintenance in his blood alcohol level.
no longer capable of the long, brisk walks that he used to take around Venice,
that elusive chemistry which occurs only occasionally when two people meet.
Nor does she have the tools to manage him; Al has taken them away.
he once owned many women that make these look like dogs—are
it might have occurred two weeks ago, when simple eloquence was still reflexive in
Two weeks ago she would have agreed.
that may be one more thing than what she wants,
“What do you think you are, a sixteen year old girl holding out on me in Hollywood?
Her life has become somewhat pointless, and even passed out, he was still better company than anyone else she knows:
Ben lost his customer status at the very moment that she decided to take him to her home.
“You know, I saw you last week,”
It is at this point we find out that the drunk she saw at the beginning of chapter "cherries" was actually Ben, and forshadowed their trajectories. Him falling down - signifying his dying - and she wanted to help but him not letting her.
contains a respectable collection of English and American literature, all in paperback.
“Two hairs past a freckle.
Here people drink at all hours. No one cares. There may be legitimate reasons, vacations and whatnot, but it just doesn’t matter because they’re not from here. They’re not overtly fucking up.”
Both of them feel an unspoken urgency to their friendship.
They are recognizing an opportunity to prevent an emotional tragedy.
He believes that dying, dying soon, is an unalterable fact of his life,
he is aware of it, but not obsessed with it.
Ben adores Sera, would like her to be a part of his life. But changing his life, extending it, is no longer an option that would occur to him.
Plan: stay alive.
Let’s talk about tomorrow: wanna do something?”
as if the absence of a clock is a sure sign of lateness.
suddenly she doesn’t feel all that numb.
Sera, thirsty beyond even her own reckoning for companionship,
For three days she and Ben have spent their time in one long, life-reviewing conversation,
She shouldn’t have to see that.
I’m tired of being alone . . . that’s what I’m tired of.
he really does want to die there as well.
catching him in a fervent embrace that is fueled by years of untapped emotion.
so many fast kisses, each one a veritable possession.
She chose it, as women will, to paint her name across his chest.
“I used to carry a lot of keys, but one by one they fell victim to the great condensation.
uncomfortable when presented with hard evidence that anyone would want to give him something,
Anyway, he needs her, and for that, she loves him.
he has long since become bored with these recaps.
he needs to find out how Sera feels about what he did, how Sera feels about him.
“I warned you. I’m sorry,” he says sincerely.
