crisis
Resentment?
The word resentment comes from the Latin word "sentire" which means, "to feel", and when you put "re" in front of any word, it means "again", so the word resent means "to feel again". It includes people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry, with whom we were hurt or threatened or interfered with, with whom we felt had wronged us, with whom we stayed sore at, with whom we felt "burned up" toward, and with whom we held a grudge.
I would like to add the following as well: People, institutions or principles which we are annoyed with, agitated by, or let down by; and I also like to suggest that this includes our regrets [from "gratan", to weep, i.e., to weep again] because regret is resentment toward our self.
But, if we want to recover, the AA BigBook says, "We saw that these resentments must be mastered," and here's why:
1. Resentment is the "number one" offender. It destroys more alcoholics (codependents) than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease. (Page 64)
2. It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility. (Page 66)
3. It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to unhappiness (Page 66)
4. To the precise extent that we permit these [deep resentment], do we squander the hours that might have been worth while. (Page 66)
5. But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. (Page 66)
6.We found that it [this business of resentment] is fatal. (Page 66)
7. For when harboring such feelings [resentment] we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. (Page 66) [There is a native word of greeting, Ky'hoo'ya, which means "Walk In The Sunlight of the Spirit", and is also a fitting acronym for "Keep Your Head Out Of Your Ass."]
8. [When we harbor resentment] the insanity of ____________returns. (Page 66)
9. [When we harbor resentment] we drink again. (Page 66)
10. For alcoholics these things [including resentment] are poison. (Page 66)
11. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others [resentment], fancied or real, had power to actually kill. (Page 66)
12. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility. (Page 70)
13. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their fatality. (Page 70)
14. We have commenced to see their [resentment's] terrible destructiveness. (Page 70)
15. Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. (Page 117)
The greatest enemies of us alcoholics (codependents) are resentment, jealousy, frustration, and fear. (Page 145)
I can't afford resentments against anyone, because they are the build-up of another drunk. (dry drunk for codependents) (Page 325)
After all this, it can't be denied that the Big Book paints a really definite picture of the result of holding resentments. Is it possible that the more we have them, the more we are moving toward our next drink (codependent relapse), since we have used alcohol (codependent behavior and thought processed) before to help us deal with them? We must honestly ask ourself if we are earnestly seeking to get rid of resentments in our life, or do we hold on to some, considering them unavoidable. It's something to think about.
Taken from: http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaresentments.html
