His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage

by Willard F. Harley Jr.

activities together. It’s just that when considering what to do during your time for undivided attention, make sure that the activity doesn’t distract you from each other. For example, if you focus most of your attention on a movie or a television show, that activity should not be considered part of your time for undivided attention. But if during the show, you are expressing affection to each other and your focus of attention is primarily on each other, then it counts. Any recreational activity that allows for affection, intimate conversation, and even sexual fulfillment while engaged in the activity is a good candidate. Dancing, card games, hiking, boating, and even working out at the gym together have been favorites of couples who want a recreational activity that provides an opportunity for undivided attention. But don’t include friends with any of those activities. They’ll distract you from each other. You should have as much privacy as possible during your fifteen hours. If you are to be each other’s favorite recreational companion, there will be many activities you both enjoy that do not lend themselves well to undivided attention. As I already mentioned, you should engage in those activities as well, but don’t let them, or anything else, crowd out your fifteen hours together. My assignment to engage only in activities you can enjoy together as recreational companions is not unbearably painful or unrealistic. In fact, it’s what you probably did when you first fell i...