How (Not) to Speak of God: Marks of the Emerging Church

by Peter Rollins

As relationships develop the type of desire at work changes. Let us take the example of someone who is simply seeking a relationship because they are lonely. Here they do not desire a specific individual but rather desire a certain type of individual. This type of desire is self-centred insomuch as one has self-interested reasons for seeking the relationship. However, once one is in a loving relationship, this abstract desire for a faceless some-one (who fulfils certain needs) is transformed into a concrete desire for that particular individual (beyond the simple fulfilment of those needs). The abstract, self-interested desire for another that arises from a sense of lack is transcended by a concrete desire that arises from the presence of a particular person. This, however, does not mean that the original desire is by-passed: rather, it is taken up and transformed within the new desire. Instead of our desire being satisfied in the one we love, our desire is both maintained and satisfied by and in our longing. In love we desire our beloved, indeed the presence of our beloved is that which sparks the desire.