This ubiquitous pattern among Nice Guys is the result of childhood conditioning. When a child's needs are not met in a timely, healthy manner, the child may come to believe he is "bad" for having needs. He may also think that it is his needs that cause people to hurt him or abandon him. Typically Nice Guys respond to these inaccurate interpretations of their life events by developing a number of survival mechanisms. •Trying to appear needless and wantless. •Making it difficult for others to give to them. •Using "covert contracts." •Caretaking — focusing attention on
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