When the Nice Guy does something good for himself he is doing something that implies he is valuable. This will conflict with his deeply held belief that he is worthless. As a result, he will experience dissonance—a clashing of two competing messages. In time, one of the beliefs will win. I encourage recovering Nice Guys to keep being good to themselves, no matter how frightening. In time the core messages from childhood are replaced with new, more accurate beliefs that reflect their inherent worth.
