Because their needs were not met in a timely, judicious fashion in childhood, Nice Guys developed a distorted view of themselves. With a naive, immature logic they came to the conclusion that if their needs were not important, neither were they. This is the basis of their toxic shame.
This is true for a lot of children. As a child ones world is complicated and if something goes wrong, they often see themselves as part of the problem and absorb the blame. When the child becomes an adult, the inner child is still in the state that was the thing being blamed for the neglect at the time. However it's important as an adult to stop seeing the inner child as at fault, since it is unfair on the child to blame him/her for the neglect.
