More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
My sweet, brilliant, kindhearted, uncoordinated dad was gone. And all we were left with were memories that would never come close to filling the hole his absence left behind.
Lucian Rollins. Luce or Lucy to his friends, of whom he had few. Lucifer to me and the rest of his legion of enemies.
I could deal with that innate, biological warning that danger was near. After all, there was nothing safe about the man. What I couldn’t handle was how the tingling turned immediately into a warm, happy, reflexive There you are, as if I’d been holding my breath for him to appear.
It was strange, having a secret with the boy I’d once loved and now sharing it with the man I couldn’t stand.
God, he was beautiful.
To glare up at the clouds and tell my father I missed him, that I hated cancer, that if it snowed, I would lay on my back in it and make him a snow angel.
“Sometimes in order to build things back up, you gotta tear them down to the studs.
Like she was a campfire beckoning with a promise of warmth and goodness in the dark night.
Simon: If I could have chosen a son in this lifetime, it would have been you. Take care of my girls.
“He’s human,” Nash observed when I walked in. “Only on the outside,”
I peeled one off and slapped him across the face with it. The sting was most likely absorbed entirely by his thick beard. “Don’t make me challenge you to a duel. I have a better arm than you do,”
But they weren’t the romantic, will-they-won’t-they sparks. These were the kind that burned things to the ground. The kind that destroyed everything in their wake.
The man wielded sarcasm with the dexterity of a master manipulator.
“I’d say it was nice knowing you, but we both know that’s a lie.”
“There are some things we never get over. Some things we hide from the light,”
“You’re wired to want a man who’s going to live up to every one of those heroes you read about. The ones who fight for their woman, who drag her off into dark corners because they can’t stand not touching her a moment longer. The ones who would do anything for her. That’s what you want.”
“Not everyone gets to be happy, Sloane.” “See? That right there.” I shoved a finger in his face. “He ruined you. He ruined us.”
“No. You’re who you are to spite him,”
My fucking miracle.
imagining a life where she was mine and I was hers.
“I didn’t know vampires got hungry.” He lunged for me, his teeth grazing my neck. “Hold still, you snack-size human.”
Lucian slapped a gloved hand over my mouth. “Shut up before you piss me off even more.”
We’d spent too much time doing this. Fighting then finding our way back to each other only to blow up again. We were like magnets drawn together in one moment before we were reversed, repelling each other the next.
Nash: Hey, fuckface. Did you just seriously fire my woman?
every damn thing in this fucking place reminded me of her.
“I saw you climbing out of her bedroom window in high school. I see the way you look at her like she’s the goddamn sun and you’re not supposed to stare directly at her but you can’t help yourself.”
“Nothing worthwhile is easy. Finding a partner isn’t about ticking all the boxes. No one is perfect, not even you, Sloaney Baloney. Falling in love is about discovering someone who makes you better than you are alone and vice versa.”
“You love me, you idiot. You’ve loved me since we were kids. You loved me even when I broke your trust. You loved me after I fixed it. You still love me.”
I’d rebuild it brick by brick for her. Whatever she wanted. She couldn’t stop me.
He didn’t understand. No one did. When things turned to ruins, Sloane and I were there for each other. Always. It was time we both remembered that. Because I wasn’t walking away. Not this time. Not ever again.
“Fuck,” I muttered, clambering into the room and racing to her side. “Sloane. Baby.” My hands searched her arms and torso for injuries. Because only the worst injuries could break her like this. The worst injuries and the worst heartbreaks.
Panic was a living breathing thing in my chest when she didn’t fight me. She should be telling me what an asshole I was. She should be throwing me out. Not collapsing against me.
Silent sobs racked her body, forming wounds in my cold, black heart. A bottomless well of tears soaked my shirt as I held her tighter to me and let one hand stroke down her ponytail. Over and over again. She smelled like the kind of smoke that destroyed dreams, and I could hardly bear it.
Yet even though it carved me up to see her pain, I realized what a gift this was. To be here when she broke. To pick up the pieces and help her put them back together again.
Fury burned inside me. I wouldn’t rest until I knew who was responsible for those bruises and made them pay.
Her beauty was so exquisitely fragile I couldn’t catch my breath. I’d almost lost her. Really lost her. Not pushed her away, but lost her. I could have already seen her for the last time and not known it.
Her pain was my pain.
I never wanted to see her ruined pink sweater again. I’d buy her a new one. A dozen new ones. I’d rebuild her library brick by brick, book by book. And I would never let her face danger alone again.
She’d always been mine. I was just now accepting that fact. Once something was mine, I never gave it up.
My beautiful broken girl didn’t help me or fight me. But she did relax against me. She did press her damp face to my neck. And for the first time in my life, I felt like the hero instead of the villain.
She paused, staring at the mound of pillows I’d arranged in a U. “You remembered,” she said softly. “I remember every second of us.”
“No, Pixie, you don’t understand. I could have lost you last night. I’m not going to let that happen again. Ever. If you want ten kids, we’ll have them. If you want a six-story library full of medieval first editions, I’ll buy every book for you. If you want to raise a family here, I’ll move back and feed your asshole cat every morning. If you decide you want to throw it all away and move to a tasteful hut on a tropical beach, I’ll build the fucking hut.”
“You’re mine and I’m yours. For better or worse.”
“My hero.” The words from her did strange things to my insides. And I knew I’d treasure them just like every “attaboy” I’d earned from her father.
“I can still hear the snap of your bones in my head,” he confessed. “I wasn’t even there, but it still echoes. It’s the first thing I hear when I wake up in the morning. It’s what I hear every time you walk out of a room and I want to go after you. It’s been my reminder to leave you alone. He could have killed you, and I couldn’t protect you because I was behind bars. I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t protect you.”
“I’m so sorry you’ve spent your life believing that you’re tainted. That you don’t deserve happiness. That breaks my heart, Lucian, because you’re the most stupidly generous person I’ve ever met. You see a need to be filled, and you quietly go about filling it. You don’t require an audience or accolades. You’ve spent your life righting wrongs at the highest level. And that’s heroic. You’re heroic.”
“You did nothing wrong, Lucian. That was all on him. He was a broken man who tried to break you, but he failed. On his best day, he would never be able to hold a candle to you. I’m so proud of the boy you were, the man you became. You took back your family name, and made it mean something good. You don’t have him in you. I see more of my father than yours in you.”
“You. Only you. Always you.”
“Loving you has been a touchstone for more than half my life. But being loved by you? That’s a fucking miracle. You, Pixie, are my fucking miracle.”
Marry me. Be my wife. Remind me every day that I’m better than I think I am. Show me what it’s like to be loved by you. Because that’s all I ever wanted. To be good enough for you.”
