The Witches

by Roald Dahl

REAL WITCH hates children with a red-hot sizzling hatred that is more sizzling and red-hot than any hatred you could possibly imagine.

Squish them and squiggle them and make them disappear. That is the motto of all witches.

Then at last, when everything is ready … phwisst! … and she swoops! Sparks fly. Flames leap. Oil boils. Rats howl. Skin shrivels. And the child disappears.

Look carefully at that teacher. Perhaps she is smiling at the absurdity of such a suggestion. Don’t let that put you off. It could be part of her cleverness.

‘Children should never have baths,’ my grandmother said. ‘It’s a dangerous habit.’

‘Why do you say that?’ she asked, surprised. ‘Because I would never want to live longer than you,’ I said. ‘I couldn’t stand being looked after by anybody else.’

‘It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you.’