Red Seas Under Red Skies (Gentleman Bastard, #2)

by Scott Lynch

‘You have more chance of giving birth to a live hippopotamus,’ said Requin, ‘than the best thief alive has of making it past the cordon drawn around my vault. But this is silly - we could sit here all night contrasting cock-lengths. I say mine is five feet long, you say yours is six and shoots fire upon command. Let’s hurry back to significant conversation.

‘No, shut up. I don’t want you to agree with me, I want you to use your misplaced acorn of a brain before the squirrel comes looking for it again.