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February 2 - March 23, 2020
olds around to play what they call the Classroom Game.
is a test of social perceptiveness.
school becomes an education in life skills.
The single most important contribution education can make to a child's development is to help him toward a field where his talents best suit him, where he will be satisfied and competent.
And we evaluate everyone along the way according to whether they meet that narrow standard of success.
that arises from attuning one's life to be in keeping with one's true feelings.
Interpersonal intelligence, for example, broke down into four distinct abilities: leadership, the ability to nurture relationships and keep
friends, the ability to resolve conflicts, and skill at the kind of social analysis that four-year-old Judy excels at.
Inter personal intelligence is the ability to understand other people: what motivates them, how they work, how to work cooperatively with them. Successful salespeople, politicians, teachers, clinicians, and religious leaders are all likely to be individuals with high degrees of interpersonal intelligence, Intrapersonal intelligence . . . is a correlative ability, turned inward. It is a capacity to form an accurate, veridical model of oneself and to be able to use that model to operate effectively in life.10 In another rendering, Gardner noted that the core of interpersonal intelligence
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cognition—the understanding of oneself and of others in motives, in habits of working, and in putting that
insight into use in conducting one's own life and getting along with others.
This focus, perhaps unintentionally, leaves unexplored the rich sea of emotions that makes the inner life and relationships so complex, so compelling, and so often puzzling. And it leaves yet to be plumbed both the sense in which there is intelligence in the emotions and the sense in which intelligence can be brought to emotions.
psychology was dominated by behaviorists in the mold of B. F. Skinner, who felt that only behavior that could be seen objectively, from the outside, could be studied with scientific accuracy. The behaviorists ruled all inner life, including emotions, out-of-bounds for science.
gradually changing as psychology has begun to recognize the essential role of feeling in thinking.
Star Trek: The Next Generation,
Our humanity is most evident in our feelings; Data seeks to feel, knowing that something essential is missing.
He wants friendship, loyalty; like the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, he lacks a heart.
faith, hope, devotion, love—are
meta-cognition"—that is, awareness of one's mental processes—"rather than on the full range of emotional abilities."
Peter Salovey, who has mapped in great detail the ways in which we can bring intelligence to our emotions.
proposed in a Harper's Magazine article that one aspect of emotional intelligence, "social" intelligence—the ability to understand others and "act wisely in human relations"—was itself an aspect of a person's IQ.
influential textbook on intelligence tests pronounced
Among the practical intelligences that are, for instance, so highly valued in the workplace is the kind of sensitivity that allows effective managers to pick up tacit messages.13
1. Knowing one's emotions. Self-awareness—recognizing a feeling as it happens —is the keystone of emotional intelligence.
the ability to monitor feelings from moment to moment is crucial to psychological insight and self-understanding. An
People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pi...
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having a surer sense of how they really feel about personal decisions from whom to m...
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marshaling emotions in the service of a goal is essential for paying attention, for self-motivation and mastery, and for creativity.
Emotional self-control—delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness—underlies accomplishment of every sort.
People who are empathic are more attuned to the subtle social signals that indicate what others need or want. This makes them better at callings such as the caring professions, teaching, sales, and management.
the brain is remarkably plastic, constantly learning.
Emotionally intelligent women, by contrast, tend to be assertive and express their feelings directly, and to feel positive about themselves; life holds meaning for them.
"That," the monk calmly replied, "is hell."
Ask why question yourself,How am i feeling, why i m getting angry and analyse further more about your feelings intern the thoughts, Constantly ask yourself how am i feelinf now? Why i am feeling this way
samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for the insight.
"And that," said the monk, "is heaven."
"Know thyself speaks to this keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one's own feelings as they occur.
In this self-reflexive awareness mind observes and investigates experience itself, including the emotions.2
Such attention takes in whatever passes through awareness with impartiality, as an interested yet unreactive witness.
observing ego,"
the capacity of self-awareness that allows the analyst to monitor his own reactions to what the patient is saying, and which the process of f...
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Self-awareness is not an attention that gets carried away by emotions, overreacting and amplifying what is perceived. Rather, it is a neutral mode that maintains self-reflectiveness even amidst turbulent emotions.
At a minimum, it manifests itself simply as a slight stepping-back from experience, a parallel stream of consciousness that is "meta": hovering above or beside the main flow, aware of what is happening rather than being immersed and lost in it.
"This is anger I'm feeling" even as you are enraged. In terms of the neural mechanics of awareness, this subtle shift in mental activity presumably signals that neocortical circuits are actively monitoring the emotion, a first step in gaining some control.
Self-awareness, in short, means being "aware of both our mood and our thoughts about that mood," in the words of John Mayer, a University of New Hampshire psychologist who, with Yale's Peter Salovey, is a coformulator of the theory of emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness can be a nonreactive, nonjudgmental attention to inner states. But Mayer finds that this sensibility also can be less equanimous; typical thoughts bespeaking emotional self-awareness include "I shouldn't feel this way," "I'm thinking good things to cheer up," and, for a more restricted self-awareness, the fleeting thought "Don't think about it" in reaction to something highly upsetting.
Although there is a logical distinction between being aware of feelings and acting to change them, Mayer finds that for all practical purposes the two usually go hand-in-hand: to recognize a foul mood is to want to get out of it. This recognition, however, is distinct from the efforts we make to keep from acting on an emotional impulse. When we say "Stop that!" to a child whose anger has led him to hit a playmate, we may stop the hitting, but the anger still simmers. T...
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Self-awareness has a more powerful effect on strong, aversive feelings: the realization "...
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offers a greater degree of freedom—not just the option not to act on it, but the added opt...
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• Self-aware. Aware of their moods as they are having them, these people understandably have some sophistication about their emotional lives.
Or are you likely to take out the emergency card and review the precautions, or
