Armadillos & Old Lace
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Read between September 5 - September 6, 2020
11%
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I noticed on the far wall that the large framed pictures of Hank Williams and Mahatma Gandhi were still hanging there side by side. They were a little dusty and off-center, but who wasn’t that ever did anything great?
11%
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They had all been very close. Close as the cottonwoods standing by the river.
15%
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Not that I was a role model particularly. I just felt that if kids were going to screw up their lives, they ought to figure out how to do it themselves.
23%
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The cat said nothing. She was of an extremely secular bent and could not be drawn easily into conversations of a religious nature. This was, quite possibly, to her credit. I’ve known a lot of cats in my life who’ve gotten all worked up on the subject.
31%
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“Kinkster, how are you?” said J. Tom. “Long time between dreams,” I said.
32%
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I’d always wanted to be picked up by a UFO, but not before breakfast.
34%
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The summer was rolling obliviously along like a wayward beachball thrown onto the field of a nationally televised sporting event
37%
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This knowledge pressed brutishly against the translucent butterfly wings of my soul
38%
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I did not expect the hand of fate to be quite so well manicured.
45%
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“I don’t have any openings for male models, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”
51%
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I could tell she was in a more upbeat mood than I was. Sylvia Plath was in a more upbeat mood than I was.
52%
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“Almost makes me glad I’m still a closet heterosexual.” As
62%
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in the morning you were going to feel half dead. The other half didn’t feel too good, either.
68%
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hundreds of well-wishers show up who would just as soon wish you’d fallen down a well.
85%
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It looked like the Make-Believe Ballroom might’ve looked once you’d grown up and forgotten how to pretend.