Go for No! Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There

by Richard Fenton

The best way to desensitize yourself to a word is to use it, and the best way to desensitize yourself to an action is to do it!”

“That if he pushes long enough and hard enough and doesn’t quit, there’s a yes at the end of the cookie trail,” I replied. “Exactly! Now I’m not saying that adults should act like spoiled brats to get what they want, but there is an important lesson to be learned here. Somewhere along the line that natural sense of tenacity we had as children got drummed out of us. Billy knows not to take the rejection personally, but as adults we forget that. That’s what Harold helped me remember.

“Sure. A willingness to fail means a person will tolerate just enough failure to get what they need from life, and no more. A wantingness, on the other hand, means you’re not just tolerating the no’s in your life, you’re actually beginning to seek them. When you develop a true wantingness to fail, rejection starts being fun!” “Who in their right mind thinks rejection is fun? Rejection is awful!” I argued. “Says who?” he shot back. “Where is it written that rejection has to be awful? Why can’t rejection be only slightly annoying or amusing or, for that matter, exciting and energizing? While we have absolutely no control over the actions of others, we do have total and complete control over how we react. What if we decided to make each no we received and every rejection we encountered something that empowers us? Instead of avoiding rejection, what if we made the decision to seek rejection? Instead of avoiding no or perhaps simply tolerating it, what if we went out of our way to actually go for no!”

Each of us has our own personal failure quotient. In other words, how many times is a person willing to fail before succeeding? How many times are they willing to get knocked down and then get back up, knowing that they are almost certain to get knocked back down again? How much failure can they endure on the road to success?

“For starters, I’d say that a primary key to creating outrageous success is to understand the need to fail exponentially. After all, one person can only fail so fast. Great leaders help everyone in the organization understand the need to fail faster.