The Palace of Illusions

by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

But I couldn’t forgive him that initial rejection. Perhaps that was why, as I grew from a girl into a young woman, I didn’t trust him completely.

“A problem becomes a problem only if you believe it to be so. And often others see you as you see yourself.”

courtiers whispered among themselves, asking each other who I was, and

“When the Supreme Being manifested Himself, the brahmin was born from his head, the kshatriya from his arm, the vaishya from his thigh, and the sudra from his foot.”

“The problem with you is, you’re too pretty for your own good. It’ll get you into trouble with men sooner or later, if you’re not careful. No wonder Father’s been worrying about what to do with you.”

promised myself I’d never pray for their deaths. I’d teach them, instead, to be survivors.

“Tell me about the celestial astras.” I didn’t think he’d agree, but he shrugged. “I guess there’s no harm in telling you, since you’ll never have anything to do with them. They’re weapons that must be invoked with special chants. They come from the gods and return to them after being used. The most powerful ones can be used only once in a warrior’s lifetime.”

“They can’t be seen, not until you’ve called them. And then you must use them right away; otherwise their power might turn against you. They say that some, like the Brahmastra, wrongly used, can destroy all of creation. In any case, I don’t have any—not yet.”

words wasted energy. I would use my strength instead to nurture my belief that my life would unfurl uniquely.

The first will be just before your wedding: at that time, hold back your question. The second will be when your husbands are at the height of their power: at that time, hold back your laughter. The third will be when you’re shamed as you’d never imagined possible: at that time, hold back your curse. Maybe it will mitigate the catastrophes to come.”

had suggested—in my own way. I would approach the problem aslant.

Dhri said, “Parasuram realized that a brahmin could never have borne so much pain in silence. Only a kshatriya was capable of that. He accused Karna of having deceived him. And though Karna told him that he didn’t belong to the warrior-caste but was merely a charioteer’s son, Parasuram wouldn’t forgive him. He said, Just as you’ve deceived me, so will your mind deceive you. When you need the Brahmastra the most, you’ll forget the mantra needed to call it up. What you’ve stolen from me will be of no use to you in the hour of your death.”

Krishna said? We’re nothing but pawns in Time’s hands!”

severe in his ceremonial silks. I noticed the scabbard on his hip, carved

Expectations are like hidden rocks in your path—all they do is trip you up.

blindfold and looked at someone, she could heal him—or burn him to cinders.

You no longer care what people think of you, and that has given you a great freedom.”

They would avenge me later, yes, but only when they felt the circumstances would bring them heroic fame. A woman doesn’t think that way. I would have thrown myself forward to save them if it had been in my power that day. I wouldn’t have cared what anyone thought. The choice they made in the moment of my need changed something in our relationship. I no longer depended on them so completely in the future. And when I took care to guard myself from hurt, it was as much from them as from our enemies.