It’s so much easier to say, “I’ll be whoever or whatever you need me to be, as long as I feel like I’m part of this.”
i've always struggled with this in 1:1 personal relationships. im myself until i learn that i really want to "belong" with someone and because, in my heart of hearts, i dont feel like i have innate vaue, i become deperate and have such trouble staying true to myself and end up loosing myself. does staying true to myself require deep selfove and complete acceptace? how can i ever truly give that to myself? why does the prospect feel so self absorbed and like id be inviting the disapproval of others? Have i always been surrunded by people who demand power over me and who instilled this latter idea in me? Sigh. Theres no sense in denying the answer to this last question. Yes, and when im not, i seek them out because thats what i know - and ultimately - what i am comfortable with…”the enemy you know is better than the enemy you don’t know”. I need to let go of that
