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Richie: Pandas are so dumb, they’re carnivorous but eat plants. Because … plants are right there. Einstein: That sounds more lazy than dumb. Richie: When Sloths climb trees, they sometimes think their own limb is a branch and fall to their death. Einstein: LMAO! Oh wait, I mean … I shouldn’t laugh at that, right? Richie: Turkeys drown by staring up at the sky when it’s raining. Einstein: And we have a winner.
Zach has half the hockey team chasing after him to make sure he’s okay, and who do I have? I don’t need to check behind me to know the answer to that question.
“Please do. My boyfriend is a possessive motherfucker. He’ll tear it right off.”
“So, I have some slightly disturbing news,” I say. “You do?” I nod. “I think I’m kind of dating everyone I’ve ever slept with? And, we didn’t break up. So, I’ve cheated on all of them with you. A lot.”
“Eh. I’ll still love you anyway.” Seth lets out a little gasp, and my eyes widen. That didn’t just fall out of my mouth, did it? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. “You’ll what?” Seth’s lips curve upward. “I’ll still … uh, like you? Very much. Yes. That.” His smile only widens. “You love me?” I swallow the large lump in my throat. “Umm, no?” He cocks an eyebrow, and his lips press together. “Yes?” “You sound confused.”