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I was just trying to be supportive.
“That we made out? A lot? Yeah, no, I did. Because here I am thinking it was perfectly normal hetero behavior. Learn to kiss by kissing your best friend!”
“It took me”—I count—“six, seven, eight. Eight years to realize the guy I used to make out with might be gay. I’m not smart.”
I just thought it was friction. I was a teenage boy, and something rubbed against my dick. I would’ve jerked off after a strong breeze, for fuck’s sake.
See? Not a big deal. They’re both straight and kissing. Yeah, for a dare, not because they’re bored. Oh. Right. That.
I have to work for the spark when it seems no one else does.
“I’m really sorry that my need for an emotional connection and lack of sex was inconvenient for you. But guess what? It’s not so great for me either.”
It’s like realizing I might not be entirely straight gave my cock permission to respond to anything remotely gay-sounding. Like it’s all, “Sorry, dude, you signed the waiver. I’m allowed to get excited over anything I want now.”
The annoying part of being a dumbass is that when I think I’m making good decisions, I’m really, really not.
Apparently, I can detect same-sex chemistry between other people, just not from myself. Denial is a powerful thing.
Ace Valentine’s Day cards. They should be a thing. I like you a lot, I think you’re hot, but I don’t want you near my spot.
Zach has half the hockey team chasing after him to make sure he’s okay, and who do I have? I don’t need to check behind me to know the answer to that question.
Richie: Happy turkey day! Einstein: Gobble, gobble. Richie: Okay, you can’t say ‘gobble’ and expect me to not think about sex. Einstein: The hardships of a horndog. Richie: It’s a rough life.
Alcohol gives me superpowers.
Even if there was, what then? I’d freeze and gape like a carnival clown waiting for someone to put balls in its mouth. Which wouldn’t be entirely inaccurate.
“Is holding hands gay or just friendly? What about blowjobs? Friendship anal. Is that a thing?”
“J’ai pas de couilles.”
I also know my dick is easy.
Maybe there’s something to this getting to know people thing.
And now that I’m ninety-nine percent sure it’s him, I’m going to be so fucking disappointed if it isn’t. Because Cohen? Oh, yeah, the attraction’s there.
“My balls. Please. Suck my balls, Einstein.”
“I’m a nudist!” I blurt. They both look confused. “I’m trying to recruit Seth into my cult. That’s why I’m naked.”
“So, I have some slightly disturbing news,” I say. “You do?” I nod. “I think I’m kind of dating everyone I’ve ever slept with? And, we didn’t break up. So, I’ve cheated on all of them with you. A lot.”
“Should I be concerned that hearing you choke gives me an instant boner?” “Might be the weirdest Pavlovian response I’ve heard yet.”
“Because I am a sex god, and my man juice should be worshiped?”
“How do I make you feel?” I ask. His arms tighten, and Richie drags openmouthed kisses over my neck. “Incredible. Impossible. So fucking turned on. You’re perfect. So fucking perfect, Einstein. Maybe I wasn’t being dumb all these years, after all. Maybe I was waiting for you.”
Sure with chemistry like ours, nothing will ever come between us.
“Eh. I’ll still love you anyway.” Seth lets out a little gasp, and my eyes widen. That didn’t just fall out of my mouth, did it? Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. “You’ll what?” Seth’s lips curve upward. “I’ll still … uh, like you? Very much. Yes. That.” His smile only widens. “You love me?” I swallow the large lump in my throat. “Umm, no?” He cocks an eyebrow, and his lips press together. “Yes?” “You sound confused.”
“Loving you could never hold me back.”
“All year it’s been sneaking up on me without me realizing. And trust me this next part is going to sound ridiculous coming from me, but … hockey isn’t everything …” I pretend to gasp. “Never!” He smiles softly and rests his forehead against mine. “You are.”
I press my grin into his shoulder. “Thank you.” “For?” “Needing me.” “Always.” He kisses my ear. “Only you, Einstein.”
“Sometimes I come out with super smart and insightful things.” Seth smiles. “Other times you ask where your phone is when it’s in your hand.” “Damn straight.”
It’s time to be a grown-up with all that … amazing responsibility and sense of purpose. On second thought, that doesn’t sound that much fun,
