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The ring, ring, ring echoes through my phone. Pick up, pick up.
no. straight to voicemail
“Richard Cohen, as I live and breathe. It’s been a long time. How’s Vermont treating you?” “Are you gay?” I blurt. “Uh …”
what happened to hello, how are you
They’re both straight and kissing.
wrong answer
And in relationships, you’re supposed to let those little things go.
not that shit, it’s annoying
She watches me over the top of her coffee, and she takes a slow sip. “What’s wrong?” “Seth …” Uh-oh. My gut drops as helpless desperation starts to claw at me. Her tone says it all.
this bitch had you order for her and then is about to break up with you???
“Feelings are your first problem.” “What?” “You’re needy, Seth.”
ouch
“No, but it’s something. I mean, what guy doesn’t want to fuck?”
one who might not be into girls??
are you sure you’re not gay?” What! “What?” “Well … your brother is bi, your best friend is gay, and a whole lot of your friends identify as LGBTQ in some way or another.”
😐😐😐
Most times I don’t think I’m attracted to anyone. But occasionally, like every now and then, I’ll meet someone and we’ll get along great. We’ll start as friends, and then eventually there’s a spark.
maybe demisexual?
“I …” The words get stuck. “I think I’m demi.”
i love being right
Joe climbs out of the boat. He’s skinnier than Logan and me, but he has a nice face. Uh, for a dude.
boy be so fr
“Oh God. Richard Cohen and thinking. I didn’t think those words went together. Unless there was a not thrown in the middle of them.”
i like logan
Then he offered to meet me and do it in person, and I freaked out and blocked him.
this is so real.
You must be very proud. Congratulations on a beautiful dick.
you’re DONE
What the fuck? I mean … what the fuck?
i agree. what the fuck
Tell me something surprising about you. @scientistguy: I have a third testicle. @confused96: Really? @scientistguy: No.
stop they’re funny
I’m lying, dude. Don’t unintentionally call me on it.
me fr
Wait. Shit. POTASSIUM. Oxygen and POTASSIUM. They dated. It went okay. I mean OK!!!! **Face palm** I give up. Wanna see my dick? My laugh bursts from me,
i LOVE him
They’re Beck and Jacobs’s problem this year. Who are totally banging.
oh for sure
Probably not any ruder than calling my best friend and flat out asking if he’s gay. Guess I’m going in, then.
DOMT DO IT
Fuck this. “Va te faire fourrer,” I say. The car swerves, and I have to grab
he knows
“You speak French?” Seth asks. “Only the bad words.” “What did you even say?” Beck asks. “Get fucked,” Seth answers for me. I laugh. “Exactly.” “I didn’t know you spoke French,” Zach says to Seth. Seth shrugs.
HE KNOWS
I wasn’t ready to meet Richie. Yet I’m pretty sure he’s sitting right next to me.
you’d be correct
So not subtle, Beck follows Richie’s gaze to me, just as I point at my neck again. Beck’s stare flies back to Richie, then to me, then back to the gigantic goddamn hickey. I very nearly face-palm, but the look that crosses Beck’s expression is so comical, I can’t look away. His eyes get all big as he looks upward, and then he very deliberately rolls his lips in, holding back his laugh.
beck you better not
“Okay?” Beck forces himself to inhale. “I’m fucking fantastic. So fantastic, I’m buying everyone a round of fruity-as-fuck cocktails. Want one, Cohen? Seth? Of course you do! This is great. Lunch is great. What a fantastic day.”
HE DID NOT
Beck immediately jumps in. “Hey, did you see that bird? Oops, it’s gone now. Also, did you know that jelly beans are covered in shellac which is made from bug shit? You’re welcome.” Richie catches my eye over his shoulder. I know we’re thinking the same thing. At this rate, Beck’s going to give us away by dinner.
beck is a menace
“I’m a nudist!” I blurt. They both look confused. “I’m trying to recruit Seth into my cult. That’s why I’m naked.”
stop talking
“I actually gave up my clothing for Lent.” “That starts in February,” Seth mutters.
boy😭😭😭
“Might be the weirdest Pavlovian response I’ve heard yet.” “Pav-what?”
mr ivan pavlov. complete weirdo
“Why … why are you being so cool about this?” “Cool about what?” “Me. And a guy.”
you know he’s gay right
Asher scoffs. “All you have to do is off your parents. The school will give you anything you ask for.” I wince.
that’s funny but not
“I hope you don’t care that I brought my boyfriend with me.” Blurt it out. Zach chokes on his water at the same moment Richie’s butter knife clatters against the dish.
friend. i love you
“Is everyone on this team fucking gay?”
precisely
“It’s goddamn contagious,” Henrikson says. “You’re so right,” I say dryly. “If you can’t beat ’em, beat ’em off instead.” Seth groans. “That’s not the saying.” “But it works,” I say. “I’ll pass. Thanks.” Henrikson lifts his chin. “Good game though.”
is the next book henrikson and asher
he slides closer. “So … Seth.” “Asher.” “You’re dating Cohen to piss off your brother, aren’t you?” His tone is even cockier than I’ve heard from him yet. “That could be the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”
where the fuck is this going
“You’re into my boyfriend, aren’t you?” For some reason, that makes him laugh. Hard. “They told me you were smart.”
i’m fucking lost
“You have no idea. When you’re stuck at home where everyone’s depressed as fuck, getting to tease cute guys is always a highlight.” …
i’m double lost
“Jesus, dude. What if you got injured?” Apparently in a room of drunk hockey players, I’m the only one thinking of that. “Lighten up, cutie.” He grabs both my shoulders and presses a sloppy kiss to my cheek.
let’s not.
