Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes

by William Bridges

From here on, we will follow the lead of these cultures by examining the three natural phases of transition. Named “Endings,” “The Neutral Zone,” and “The New Beginning,” these three component processes of personal change will be explored in detail so that you can understand why your own experience of transition takes the shape that it does, and how you can deal more constructively with it. For as the ancients knew, transition is the way to personal development.

Transitions Phases

I try telling him a story: “Once there were two monks who were traveling through the countryside during the rainy season. Rounding a bend in the path, they found a muddy stream blocking their way. Beside it stood a lovely woman dressed in flowing robes. ‘Here,’ said one of the monks to the woman. ‘Let me carry you across the water.’ And he picked her up and carried her across. After setting her down on the far bank, he walked in silence with his fellow monk to the abbey on the hill. Later that evening, the other monk said suddenly, ‘I think you made an error when you picked up that woman on our journey today. You know we are not supposed to have anything to do with women, and you held one close to you! You should not have done that.’ ‘How strange,’ remarked the other. ‘I carried her only across the water. You are carrying her still.’”2

Fable about holding on to the past

To show how this is so, I will discuss the five aspects of the natural ending experience: disengagement, dismantling, disidentification, disenchantment, and disorientation.

Transitions 5 D's