Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes

by William Bridges

The Hindus keyed the transition to Forest-Dwelling to the birth of one’s first grandchild—the idea being that this was when the next generation took over the Householder function within the family. In our time and place, of course, all this sounds strange. Far from stepping back to take stock, most Americans are engaged at that point in making the final assault on the mountaintop of success. But even though we don’t acknowledge this natural transition point and incorporate it into our career plans does not mean that it does not exist. It does not mean that it is banished from our lives. It simply means that when we encounter it, we are unprepared. In fact, the transitions that punctuate many people’s careers after the age of forty or forty-five are the unmarked ruins of this natural time of transition. Whether such transitions take the form of a time when everything “goes dead,” a time when things keep going wrong, a time when long-successful strategies suddenly stop working, or a time when the gray fog of depression covers whatever was once bright and interesting, this natural (if often delayed) time of transition starts with an ending, a sense of loss. And after we have acknowledged the ending, the sense of loss is replaced with emptiness, meaninglessness, a feeling that all our accomplishments actually mean very little. We say (if we have the courage to talk about the experience) that our careers aren’t going anywhere; we may wonder whether we’ve been in the wrong caree...