Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes

by William Bridges

For “what to do” consists not of ways out but of ways in; that is, it involves ways of amplifying and making more real the essential neutral zone experience. The way in is the way out, as it happens. When the wheels spin in loose gravel, you need more weight. Tempting though it may be to wait for the experience to pass, it is one of those things that will stick around until it gets your attention. So here are some practical suggestions about how to find the meaning while in the neutral zone—and thus how to shorten the time you spend there. Accept your need for this time in the neutral zone. Understand why you are in this situation, why your life seems to be stalled at the very time changes are taking place around you. Being able to make sense out of your experience at this time is very important, for otherwise the neutral zone can feel like a dead-end road. Understanding what the neutral zone is and why it is there can keep you from falling into one of the two snares that people—especially people upset with and anxious about the transition they are in—fall into when they are in the neutral zone. Let’s call them the traps of fast forward and reverse.