Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes

by William Bridges

You see the former when someone “goes dead” at work or around the home. There has been no ending, no disengagement. The old job or the old relationship is intact. But the person is not there. He or she has become emotionally unplugged. Sometimes this happens because a decision has been made inwardly to end the situation. Emotionally, an ending has already taken place, although the outer circumstances remain unchanged. Or it may happen when you let go of an old dream because you finally admit to yourself that it is not going to work. Again, a subtle inner ending takes place, although everything goes on as before on the outside. The neutral zone overlaps with the old life, and you move like a sleepwalker through a role that you once identified with.