Trainspotting

by Irvine Welsh

peripheral

She’s a windae dresser in a department store, but describes hersel as a ‘consumer display artist’ or something like that.

Choose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fuckin junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total fuckin embarrassment tae the selfish, fucked-up brats ye’ve produced.

Choose life.

Some say that the Irish are the trash ay Europe. That’s shite. It’s the Scots. The Irish hud the bottle tae win thir country back, or at least maist ay it.

THROWIN AWAY YIR LIFE DOESNAE NEED TAE BE AN AUTOMATIC DEATH SENTENCE DESTROY REHABILITATE FASCISM NICE WIFE NICE BAIRNS NICE HOOSE NICE JOAB NICE NICE TA SEE YA, TA SEE YA … NICE NICE NICE BRAIN DISORDER DEMENTIA HERPES THRUSH PNUEMONIA WHOLE LIFE AHEAD AY YE MEET A NICE LASSIE N SETTLE DOON …

If ah move, ah’ll swallow ma tongue. Nice bit ay tongue.

Ye’ll eat that tongue. That’s a nice, tasty bit ay tongue thair son. YE’LL EAT THAT TONGUE.

Hash? Hash! You’re a fuckin comedian. Might as well try tae combat third world famine wi a packet ay frozen peas.

Corsica.

Ah love the fuck oot ay the bastards, if the truth be telt.

S no really his fault. Ye kin only pish wi the cock yiv goat. Whae else is thir?

Sutherland

his knuckles nearly scrapin the varnish oan the dance flair.

Ah seethed when ah saw that fuckin Union Jack oan his coffin, n watched that smarmy, wimpy cunt ay an officer, obviously oot ay his depth here, tryin tae talk tae ma Ma. Worse still, these Glasgow cunts, the auld boy’s side, are through here en masse. They’re fill ay shite aboot how he died in the service ay his country n aw that servile Hun crap. Billy was a silly cunt, pure and simple. No a hero, no a martyr, jist a daft cunt.

Ma beloved brother was on Her Majesty’s Service, on patrol near their base at Crossmaglen in Ireland, the part under British rule.

This fucking walking abortion says that his killers will be ruthlessly hunted down. So they fuckin should. Aw the wey tae the fuckin Houses ay Parliament.

Ma cousin Nina looks intensely shaftable.

choppers hingin oot tae dry.

Some concept, a shag and a blow-job simultaneously.

the morn takes care ay itsel.

contempt.

The only fuckers thit ever made a difference tae Billy wir the Provos, and they were cunts as well.

Ah’ve known scheme junkies in Edinburgh wi a healthier asset-tae-debt ratio thin some two-waged, heavily-mortgaged couples doon here. It’ll hit the fan one day. Thir are sackloads ay repossession orders in the post.

A racist Scottish animal lover. Odds-on he’s a Hun.

altruism.

Ah thought ah wis bad wi drugs, but the mess some cunts make ay thir lives wi love. It disnae bear thinkin aboot. Anywey, thir wis two other brothers,

You want a fuckin burst mooth, cunt? Ah answer his question wi a question.

I always find the term ‘opportunistic infection’ amusing.

Tricky buggers, those opportunistic infections.

asymptomatic.

He was certainly the most HIV positive member.

It was as if someone who had done a vile and odious fart had somehow sucked it back up their arsehole.

By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be.

perplexed

haemophiliac

bona fide

ravenous

incongruous

tenements

What ah’m really looking for is the demon, the bad bastard, the radge inside ay me who shuts down ma brain, who propels hand to joint and joint to lips and sucks and sucks like a vacuum cleaner. He’s no coming oot tae play. Maybe he doesnae live here any mair. All that’s left is the nine-to-five arsehole.

vogue

Ah realise now thit death is usually a process, rather than an event. People generally die by degrees, incrementally. They rot away slowly in homes and hoespitals, or places like this.

the discipline ay the baseball bat.

The fragile unity is shattered when Sick Boy and Renton have an argument about the merits of the pre and post Velvet Underground achievements of Lou Reed.

paraquat

pontificating

virtuous.