Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

by Kristin Neff

Compassion is not only relevant to those who are blameless victims, but also to those whose suffering stems from failures, personal weakness, or bad decisions.

There is more to me than the pain I am feeling right now, I am also the heartfelt response to that pain.

Yes, failure is frustrating. But it’s also temporary and eventually yields wisdom.

Zen master Thich Nhat Hahn calls this “interbeing.” If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper. Without a cloud there will be no water; without water, the trees cannot grow; and without trees, you cannot make paper. So the cloud is in here. The existence of this page is dependent upon the existence of a cloud. Paper and cloud are so close.

To give ourselves compassion, we first have to recognize that we are suffering. We can’t heal what we can’t feel.

French philosopher Montaigne once said, “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune, most of which never happened.”