Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

by Kristin Neff

Germer observes that his clients typically go through several distinct stages of self-compassion practice during their therapy. A common experience at the beginning, especially for those who suffer from intense feelings of worthlessness, is “backdraft.” When a fire is deprived of oxygen and fresh air is suddenly let in, an explosion often occurs (the process known by firefighters as backdraft). Similarly, people who are used to constant self-criticism often erupt with anger and intense negativity when they first try to take a kinder, more gentle approach with themselves. It’s as if their sense of self has been so invested in feeling inadequate that this “worthless self” fights for survival when it’s threatened. The way to deal with backdraft, of course, is to mindfully accept the experience and have compassion for how hard it is to experience such intense negativity.